Turning Point
by pumpkinpasty
Summary: MWPP 7th year. Friendship, romance, growing up. The end of one era, the beginning of another. Seeing things in each other that they never thought to look for. SBOC, JPLE. Details on profile. CHAPTER 16 IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Everything you recognise belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Chapter 1. 

The Letters of James Potter and Louisa Reece, Summer 1977.

_July 25__th__._

Dear Team,

This is just a gentle reminder to practice over the Summer. Perhaps if we'd all practiced last Summer, we would have won that deciding match against Ravenclaw.

I'm sure, by the time September comes, I'll be able to tell who's been practicing, and I may have to make alterations to the team-sheet based on that.

Enjoy your Summer.

Your Captain,

James Potter.

* * *

_July 27__th__._

James Potter, you _turd!_

You pompous, arrogant _idiot._

I'm writing this because the rest of the team are probably too scared that you'll throw them off the team. That was possibly the least gentle reminder I've ever received, you tactless fool. And hilarious, too. You just don't have it in you to be intimidating (you know I have a chronic inability to take short men seriously).

Anyway, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but in between a) re-doing the Colour Charms on my clothes, b) reading 'The Lord of the Rings' (again!) and c) avoiding my father, I just don't have time to do any practicing.

Oh, who am I kidding? You know full well that I'd practice Quidditch even if I lost the use of all of my limbs. We _all _would, which is why there was absolutely no use in reminding us. Although I tell you, it'll be much easier once I turn seventeen. Dad isn't exactly always willing to perform the Security Spells for me, so I'm not practicing anywhere near as much as I'd like.

How's your Summer going, anyway? What's Sirius' flat like? Have you destroyed it yet?

GET PRACTICING, MR. CAPTAIN!

Love,

Lou.

_

* * *

_

July 30_th__._

Dear Lou,

Was the note really that bad? I was trying to be encouraging. I was trying to be a good Captain. Do you think the others will be offended?

And will you _please _stop calling me short? I'm of average height, it's not my fault you're freakishly elongated.

As for how you're spending your Summer - a) here's an idea, buy new clothes, skinflint, b) why are you so obsessed with Muggle books? More importantly, why do you insist on foisting your obsession on me? and c) is the dad situation bad? Sirius and I are spending the end of the Summer at my house, so if you want you can come and join us when we get there in a couple of weeks.

Sirius' flat is _brilliant. _We've worked out how to use his one kitchen appliance, and Sirius fluttered his eye-lashes at a girl who works in the shop around the corner, so of course she believed that we are eighteen, so we're living on toast and beer, which is amazing. We're like real teenagers now.

I'd better go, I think I just heard something explode.

Love,

James.

_

* * *

_

August 2_nd__._

James,

I'm on a train, I'm going to stay with Lily. So, in answer to your question, yes, the dad situation was bad. But I've removed myself from it. Thanks for your offer of accommodation, but I'm going to stay with Lily for the Summer. (Hooray! No more awkward silences or arguments!) I swear, if you send me pathetic, drivelly letters, asking me to spy on her in the bathroom, I will _never write to you again._

As for the letter, yes, it was bad. I know Marlene was the only Captain I ever had before you, but I can't think how anyone would be better, and she never wrote condescending notes to her team, filled with pomposity and thinly-veiled threats. But we'll say no more about it. I think the team will forgive you.

I like Charming my clothes. It's more fun.

As for the Muggle books, they are amazing, so shut up. Muggles don't have magic, so they have to invent cool stuff for themselves, like electricity and brilliant novels. It's not an obsession, it's an appreciation. And don't start complaining about the fact I bought you 'Wuthering Heights' for last Christmas. I thought you'd find it appropriate, but since you didn't read it, obviously you didn't. Idiot.

Please, _please, _don't live on just toast and beer for any longer. If you get any paler or thinner, you'll basically be a ghost, and that's no fun for anyone. Go out, buy some fruit. Apples or something. They don't need preparation (DON'T put them in the toaster!) and they might just stop you from disappearing. We can't have our esteemed Captain and star Chaser floating off his broom, can we?

You'd better be preparing something brilliant for my birthday. At least a witty card?

Love,

Lou.

_

* * *

_

August 4_th__._

Dear Lou,

As _if _I'd ask you to spy on her in the bathroom! Honestly! You might say hello to her for me, though? And say nice things about how beautiful I think she is, and how mature and sensible and lovely you think I am?

I'm sorry about the dad situation. Sorry for both of you…I know you don't want to hear this but you've both been through a lot this past year, and it can't be easy for either of you.

How exactly could 'Wuthering Heights' be appropriate? I flicked through it, and I don't think I am either an intense, passionate, obsessive ruffian in love with my foster sister, nor am I a wild, wilful, haughty woman. And I clearly don't live in Yorkshire. And I'm certainly not living in the 18th century. Is there something I missed?

We bought apples. I feel more solid already.

As for your birthday, you know perfectly well that I don't _do _wit. So you'll have bland and generic, like everybody else gets.

Love,

James.

_

* * *

_

August 6_th__._

James!

Disaster has struck!

I got to Lily's, and I was so happy to be there with friendly people (apart from her sister, of course), that I got Lily to set up Muggle-Repelling Charms, etc, and went to practice. Couldn't use a Bludger, obviously - even with the spells, it'd be much too dangerous in such a crowded Muggle area. So I used a cricket ball.

And, er, well…I was a bit over-enthusiastic. I managed to break my bat.

I'm pretty much devastated. I'll go and buy a new one at some point, but I probably won't be able to get to London for at least another week, which is a bit of a tragedy. I'll still practice flying, though, I just can't practice Beating. You'd better not throw me off the team!

As for 'Wuthering Heights'….it's about how you don't have to be perfect to be loved (but how at least being nice gives you more of a chance of being happy in love). I thought it was a good way of telling you to stop being an idiot, but to give you a bit of false hope regarding the Lily situation. Remus understood. He laughed as soon as he knew what I'd got you. Be more like Remus! Then I won't feel so stupid.

Your sad, bat-less friend,

Louisa.

_

* * *

_

August 9_th__._

Lou,

I know I promised bland and generic, but, in the interests of my Quidditch team, here's a gift you should actually appreciate.

Be sad and bat-less no more!

Love,

James.

_

* * *

_

August 12_th__._

Dear, _dear _James,

You are incredible. Forget all the times I've ever called you short and scrawny and speccy. I LOVE you!

Are you serious? Is this really for me?

It's a better make than I'd ever be able to afford.

Thank you, thank you, _thank you!_

Even Lily says you must have some good in you.

Love,

Lou.

_

* * *

_

August 15_th__._

Dear Lou,

Of course it's for you! And I _had _to get you a good one, didn't I? It's got extra Strengthening Spells on it.

How on Earth did you manage to break your old one? I tell you, even with Frank gone, if you're so good you're splitting bats, I won't have to worry about the Beating aspect of the team.

Did Lily really say that? Do you think she might like me? Do you think I stand a chance? Will you tell her I love her?

And your bat may have been destroyed, but my _life _has been destroyed now.

Sirius and I came back to mine a couple of days ago. The day we got here, a letter arrived. For me. I didn't see it at first, it was in a pile, underneath your declaration of love. A letter from Hogwarts.

_The _letter. You know. The "Dear James, you're Head Boy, Good luck, from Dumbles" letter.

Why am I Head Boy? I'm not even a Prefect! I'm not even responsible!

Sirius says Dumbledore's finally cracked, and when we get back to school, he'll be dancing around with his pants on his head.

I'm still in shock.

Help?!

Love,

James.

_

* * *

_

August 19_th__._

Wow, James!

Head Boy? That's brilliant.

I know you were never a Prefect, but you're a natural leader, and you _are _responsible, in every situation apart from when Lily's involved. And guess what? She's Head Girl!

Dumbledore is clearly _far _from the pants-on-head stage. She's the only person you're stupid around, and you're the only person she can't stand to be around, so he's making you spend loads of time together. It's not going to destroy your life - or hers, either - it's going to make you grow up so much. It's _genius. _

As is my bat. I love it. I'm not sure how I broke the old one, but I did have it for a couple of years, so it would have weakened over that time. And however good I am, I can't be everywhere at once. We need a good replacement for Frank, so you'd better be ready to help me train someone up.

I'm not telling Lily anything that you tell me to tell her. You can embarrass yourself in front of her as much as you want when you see her, but I'm not getting involved.

Oh, and I'm afraid I can't make our annual pre-school shopping trip this year. Lily's sister's getting married, and for some reason, I've been invited and I'd feel mean refusing to go….Petunia's an idiot, but Mr. and Mrs. Evans have been brilliant to me. At least I don't have to be a bridesmaid - you should see the awful dress Lily has to wear. Muggle bridesmaid dresses have a magic all of their own - even Lily looks like a pudding. So I'm getting all my books and everything by mail order.

Anyway, I probably won't write again. This place is pretty hectic and I'm helping with the wedding preparations (Lily and I are in much demand because we can do stuff by magic, making it way quicker and easier - supposedly). So I suppose this is goodbye until September 1st.

Cheer up, James. I bet you'll be a brilliant Head Boy. And just think - Quidditch Captain AND Head Boy! That's some serious prestige.

Love,

Lou.

_

* * *

_

August 23_rd__._

Lou,

Your last letter is yet further reason why I go to Sirius for good times and stupidity, and to you for Quidditch and common sense.

Thanks. My panic levels have gone down to about 9 out of 10 now.

Don't worry about finding a Beater. Between your genius and that idiot Bagman's international success (and, admittedly, genius), Beating's about as cool as it can be. We'll have tons of hopefuls - one of them will be good, surely?

I hope you have fun at the wedding, although it's a bit outrageous that you can't make the shopping. Diagon Alley won't be the same without you. There'll be more ice cream and less time spent in bookshops.

I wish you'd tell Lily that I'd love her even if she looked like ten puddings.

See you very soon!

Love,

James.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

The first of September. A gloriously sunny day, Summer's fond farewell. It's just gone half past ten, and two teenage girls enter a busy King's Cross Station, dragging large trunks behind them. The smaller of them is Lily Evans. With her thick red hair, freckles and startlingly green eyes, she's a pretty girl.

Her friend is Louisa Reece. Her cheeks are a healthy pink from having the car window open all the way up to London. Her hair is brown and hangs loose around her shoulders. Her deep brown eyes are framed by long, dark lashes. She's well-built - broad-shouldered, with long, lightly toned limbs. Many tall people - women, especially - slouch and wear dull colours and try to fade into the background. But Lou, it seems, has no shame. She's clad in t-shirt and trousers of brightest orange, and her belt and shoes are green. But, more eye-catching even than her height or clothes is her walk. There's a grace in her movement which captivates strangers, although Lou herself would never admit or even notice that.

The two girls walk into the station, and stop at a barrier between Platforms 9 and 10. Casually, they lean against the barrier, smiling, talking. They disappear. The throngs of people walking past the barrier don't notice, although they're thankful that there suddenly seems to be a little bit more room to walk.

Platform nine and three-quarters is practically a little station of its own. A scarlet steam train, marked 'Hogwarts Express' stands ready, although it's not due to leave for almost half an hour yet. The platform is reasonably busy, but, the girls know from experience, not as busy as it will be in fifteen minutes or so. There are benches and, further along, a café and a couple of small shops.

Louisa casts her eyes about the platform, finally catching sight of the figure she's been looking for. He's facing away from her, but she knows it's him.

"Hey, Lily, can you mind my trunk for me? I've just seen James." Lily assents, and sits down on her trunk, as Lou makes her way through the small crowd of people on the platform.

Weaving her way through the people, she adopts her tried and tested method, which she uses to get where she wants to go as quickly - and as well-liked - as she can. A hand on an arm, a shoulder, a back. "Excuse me," she says, "Sorry," bowing her head, looking up through her eyelashes and smiling apologetically, with a shyness that is not her own. Her gentle touch, her low, melodic voice, her obvious friendliness and meekness - all of these things serve to ensure that the strangers move out of her way, smiling and thinking what a lovely girl she seems.

She's soon out of the crowd, and she sees that James is still facing away from her. She walks up behind him quietly, puts her hands on his waist and mutters 'hello' softly in his ear. He jumps, turns around, and his face breaks into a smile of pleasure. They embrace, then step apart, grinning and taking in each other's appearance.

"You look like a tangerine!" says James, delighted.

Lou performs a mock-curtsey. "I aim to please," she says, then smiles wickedly. "You still look like a broomstick, though."

They both laugh.

There is some truth to her comment. James is skinny, and his hair untameable. Lou looks at his glasses, which have been made lopsided by the embrace, and his crooked smile. She smiles back, fondly.

"Do you want to come and say hi to Lily? I think it's only reasonable that our esteemed Heads should meet before we get on the train."

"That sounds like a plan, but I'll have to wait for Sirius first."

"Where is he?"

"He went to buy chocolate."

Lou decides to stand and wait with James. They're both chattering happily - about Quidditch, mostly, when Sirius Black appears.

Sirius isn't elusively handsome, like James. Tall, slender, with pale, flawless skin and sparkling grey eyes, he's the kind of boy who's never short of admirers. His black hair falls carelessly around his face. Sirius' hair is like almost everything he does - that is, it's what James would call "accidentally brilliant". In most things in life, Sirius is a high-achiever. Without ever trying, sometimes without even _wanting _to succeed, he succeeds. In the parts of his life that everybody knows about, Sirius Black never has to try at anything. The hidden parts of his life are hidden for a reason.

Sirius and Louisa greet each other with swift smiles. They're not close, these two, although there's little animosity between them.

"We're going to go and say hello to Lily," says James. "I think we should walk _around _the crowd, rather than _through _them, like Lou did."

Lou smiles. "Walk ahead for a minute, will you? I want to talk to Sirius about something."

James looks puzzled, but agrees easily and walks off. Lou waits a few seconds before gesturing at Sirius to walk along with her.

Sirius is apprehensive. He's often apprehensive around Louisa Reece. It's probably partly - although he'll never admit it - jealousy, because she's so close to his own best friend. But mostly, he just doesn't know how to act around her. Here's a girl he can't charm or fool. Sirius may be accidentally brilliant, but Lou is accidentally intimidating. Maybe it's the height, or the clothes, or the walk. Maybe it's the way she always looks people straight in the face, and they feel like she can see into their soul - can see the things they've been hiding.

She looks at him now, those bright, open eyes, surveying him thoughtfully.

"You know the whole 'setting up James and Lily' thing we always get involved in?" she says.

"You mean, I arrange a ridiculous circumstance to make them fall in love, and you desperately try to stop my plans from going ahead?"

Lou grins. "And everyone has a brilliant time, yeah, I know. Well, I don't think we should do it this year."

Sirius is outraged. "But, I've spent weeks arranging things! I've -"

"- if you want them to get together, don't do it."

Sirius looks at her, confused. Lou takes a deep breath, and continues.

"I think there might be a chance. A small chance that something could actually happen between them. If it's going to happen, it'll happen this year, when they're doing all the Head Boy and Girl stuff together. But if you go around interfering, it'll ruin it. Every time you lock them in a room together or whatever, she thinks he's behind it, and she's never going to go out with him if she thinks he's irresponsible and childish. So you just have to leave them be and hope it happens."

Sirius thinks about it. "You really think it might happen?"

"Yeah. He's grown up a lot this past year or two, and she's hating him less and less."

"Alright then. But I can't believe I'm abandoning my brilliant, brilliant plans."

"You'll get over it."

They run slightly to catch up with James, falling into step on either side of him.

"Have you finished your mysterious chat?" he asks them.

"Yep!" says Lou cheerfully.

"She was trying to seduce me," says Sirius. Louisa swears at him, and the three of them break into easy laughter.

James stretches up to his full height. Lou smirks, and he slaps her arm gently. "Why's Carl Abbott here?" he asks.

"You've seen Carl? But that means Mary's here!" Lou rushes ahead.

"Wait, what?" asks Sirius.

"He asked her out at the end of last term, they've been love's young dream ever since."

James raises an eyebrow, and both boys quicken their steps.

When they reach the spot where Lou left Lily, sitting on her trunk, they see that Lily has been joined by two people, a boy and a girl. Lou rushes up and hugs them both ,warmly.

The boy is Carl Abbott, an 18-year-old who was in Hufflepuff until he left school at the end of last term.

The girl is Mary McDonald, Lily and Lou's best friend. Whilst neither of the others could honestly be described as ugly, Mary is the beauty of their coterie. Petite, blonde, blue-eyed, with a dazzling smile, she's genuinely lovely. Carl smiles adoringly at her, and she smiles back in a similar fashion.

Lou looks like she's trying to suppress nausea. James sees her expression and chokes back a laugh. Lily glares at him, so he turns his attention back to Carl and Mary.

"Hi again, Carl," he says. "How are you? What have you been doing since you left school?"

Carl smiles genially. "I've got a job at the Ministry - Department of Magical Transportation. I'm working in the Floo Office. It's not exactly exciting, but the pay's good."

"Cool," says James. He's always liked Carl. They've never been good friends - different years and different Houses prevent that - but somehow Carl's kindness and friendliness remind James of his father, so he always has time for Carl Abbott.

"How about you, Mary? Good Summer?"

Mary looks at Carl and blushes. "Yes thanks, James. And you?"

"Yeah, it was good. Sirius and I have been living it up."

"It was a proper rock 'n' roll lifestyle, until James insisted on fruit," says Sirius. James looks pointedly at Lou, who laughs and shrugs.

"And Lily," says James, with a terrible impression of offhandedness. "How are you? Good Summer? Are you looking forward to spending so much of this year with me?"

Lily rolls her eyes. "I can't wait," she says sarcastically. "It's all I've ever wanted."

James notices her tone, and visibly wilts. Lou sees it, and, taking pity on him, and feeling that he's done quite enough friendliness for now, she says bracingly, "shall we go and get a compartment, then? Mary, you're a Prefect now, aren't you, to even up the numbers?" Mary assents. "Well then, you'll have to go to the Prefects' compartment with Lily and James for a while. Remus will go too, when he gets here. That just leaves you and me," she says, smiling at Sirius. "And Peter, wherever he is. We'll save a compartment for everybody."

Lou picks up her trunk and strides towards the train. Lily hurriedly catches up with her. "What are you doing?" she hisses. "Why do we have to share a compartment with them?"

Lou shrugs. "I'm not sitting on my own while you're off doing Head Girl stuff. And Sirius and Peter are alright."

"You could have sat with the Quidditch team. I could have joined you there."

"We'd be talking about Quidditch all the time. You don't even like Quidditch. Besides, if James found out that the whole team was in one compartment, he'd find us and lecture us about tactics and practices for the whole journey. No, _thank you._"

The girls stop, waiting for the others, as Mary and Carl kiss each other goodbye.

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am. Oh, and Lily -"

"- yeah?"

"Be nice to James, will you? He's really trying to be nice and non-annoying."

Mary, James and Sirius start dragging their trunks towards Lily and Lou.

"It's not possible." Lily sees Lou's reproachful look. "Oh, alright then, I'll be pleasant. I'll try, anyway."

"That's all I ask."

And the small group of friends, sort-of friends, and trying-to-be friends make their way towards the train - the last time they'll ever do so as students of Hogwarts School.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

When their friends have gone to the Prefects' compartment, Lou and Sirius carry on walking through the train, trying to find an empty compartment.

"Sirius, Sirius!" calls a voice from behind them, and the both turn to see Peter Pettigrew running breathlessly towards them. Small, dumpy, watery-eyed Peter, smiling gratefully to have found Sirius. The two boys greet each other with the fondness and awkwardness that accompanies most friendships between teenage boys.

"Hi, Peter," says Lou, hardly looking at him, too busy peering through compartment windows.

Lou may be tall, but Sirius has a couple of inches on her, and Peter didn't see her at first. He colours, trying to think if he's said something stupid in the past minute or so. He always gets nervous around her. It's partly attraction - she's not as gloriously pretty as her friends, so he thinks he might have a chance. Little does he realise that anybody with the force of personality that Louisa Reece has will always be out of his league. Another reason for his nervousness is that, while she's never been unduly mean to him, he senses that she could be quite cutting if she chose, and he doesn't want to be on the receiving end of her admittedly rather sharp tongue.

Smiling, Lou finally finds an empty compartment. She opens the door rather forcefully, easing her trunk on to the rack and sprawling on to a seat. Sirius grins, pulling his own belongings into the compartment. Peter quickly follows, and soon all three of them are sitting in the compartment. Sirius and Peter talk contentedly, Lou occasionally looking up from her _Daily Prophet _to add a word or two.

"Anything in the paper, Lou?" asks Sirius.

Lou shrugs. "Mostly nonsense about You-Know-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, or whatever ridiculous thing they're calling him now."

"Nonsense?"

"Trying to be reassuring, but the panic in their tone is palpable."

Sirius looks at her shrewdly. "You think there'll be a war?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know, of course, but from stuff I heard my dad say, and my mum, before….well, _before, _I reckon a war can't be helped. It's just a question of when, and how bad."

The three of them sit silently, worried and thoughtful.

Shortly after this, a dark, slight figure enters the compartment. Lou looks up from her newspaper with an expression of delight. "Anna!" she exclaims. "Come and sit down for a bit, how were your holidays?"

The girl comes in with a smile. "Alright, thanks. Where's James?"

"In the _Prefects' _compartment."

"What?!"

"He's Head Boy!"

Anna smiles. "Is that why he sent that bizarre letter? Was he trying to be grown-up? I felt like he expected me to spend all Summer flying."

Lou bursts out laughing. "Don't worry, I told him what I thought of him. I don't know _what _he thought he was playing at, but it was before he found out about being Head Boy, so it wasn't because of that."

"I expect he was just trying to be a good Captain," says Anna solemnly.

Lou casts her a sly look. "Have you been taking notes?"

"What?"

"Well, it'll be your turn next year, won't it?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Anna is bright red now.

"Honestly, who else d'you think it'd be? You'll be the oldest -"

"- Frank was the oldest last year and James got made Captain."

Lou's withering look is impressive. "But Frank only had one year left, and he was working flat out for his NEWTs because he wanted to go into Auror training - it wasn't fair to expect him to take on Quidditch, too. You'll be a sixth year next year, and everyone apart from you will be fourths and fifths. Even if whoever we get to replace Frank is your age or older, they're not going to make someone Captain when they've only been on the team for a year, it wouldn't be fair. I'd bet my whole vault at Gringotts that you'll be the next Captain. Don't you want to be?"

Anna looks uncertain. "I don't know. It's a lot of work."

"But 'Anna Webster, Quidditch Captain' sounds cool, right?"

Anna nods shyly. "But I don't really know anything about any of the positions other than Seeker."

"Don't worry about it. I'll have a word with James, make sure he involves you in tactical talks and everything, you'll soon be more confident."

Anna looks grateful. "Thanks, Lou. How have you spent your Summer, anyway?"

"I spent a little while at home, then I spent the rest of the Summer with Lily. Helping prepare for her sister's wedding, stuff like that. I managed to break my bat, though, which was a total nightmare."

"Have you got a new one?"

"Yeah, James bought it for me for my birthday. It's a really good one, too. It only really needs to last a year, it's not like I'm going to be practicing all the time after I leave school."

Sirius looks up from his conversation with Peter. "Aren't you going professional? I thought James said last year that you had an offer from the Wimbourne Wasps?"

Lou's cheeks become pinker. "That was _supposed _to be a secret. I don't think I'm going to accept their offer, anyway."

Peter's eyes widen. "Why not?"

"The Wasps have Bagman. He has to play on their team or he'll take his talent elsewhere - you're not supposed to break contracts like that, but a name as big as Ludo Bagman can do whatever he pleases. They've got four other Beaters of varying skill and experience, but without exception they're all really good. So they've got five Beaters, and only four regular team places - two on the first team and two on the Reserves. I'd never get a game."

"But you could train with them, couldn't you?" asks Sirius. "For the experience?"

"I wouldn't be able to live on the wages they pay players who don't make the teams. And if I'm going to be a Quidditch player I want to _play Quidditch, _not just train every hour available with nothing to show for it."

"Why did they offer you a place, if they've got so many good Beaters?" Peter voices both his own and Sirius' confusion.

Lou shrugs. "It was speculative. If I'd said yes it could really pay off for them in a few years if I got really good, and even if I didn't, the wages they pay rubbish players are beans to them, really."

"Would you not consider playing professionally, then?" asks Anna, who rather hopes that one day _she _will be a professional Quidditch player.

"I don't know. I'm flattered by the offer, obviously, but I'd only want to play for a team where I could make a difference - where I was guaranteed a Reserve place, at least. Hanging around waiting for star players to get injured isn't really my idea of a career."

"I think you're very good," says Peter uncertainly. Unlike his friends, he has no interest in Quidditch. He watches the matches with them, to keep them happy, but he hardly pays attention.

"Thanks," says Lou. "Of course, we're a team, and everyone's important." She looks at Anna, who smiles.

"I'd better go," says Anna. "James'll be back soon, and I don't really want to spend the whole train journey talking about complex tactical theories. Say hi to him for me, will you?"

And with that she leaves the compartment.

Smiling, Lou returns to her newspaper. Before long, James, Lily and Mary arrive at the compartment, accompanied by one Remus Lupin.

Remus is seventeen, like his friends, but there's something about him that makes him look older. It's the tiredness, mainly. The faint hints of lines on his face, the prominent circles under his eyes. But to the whole compartment, he is a dear, dear friend, and Sirius, Peter and Lou stand up in delight. Remus greets Peter and Sirius first, and then turns to Lou, who flings herself into his arms.

Lou's friendship with Remus is very different to her friendship with James. She's more obviously close to James, on the whole - they have Quidditch, of course, and he appeals to her sense of fun, and her love of having someone to look after, someone to advise and tease. Remus is quieter, more serious. From around their third year, Lou tutored him in Potions, in return for his help with Ancient Runes, before, after passing their OWLs, they each abandoned their dreaded subject, rejoicing. They understand each other quietly, understatedly, as opposed to how she and James understand each other - shouting, laughing and causing mayhem.

The Head Boy and Girl, and the two Prefects, squeeze into the compartment. Lily finds herself, to her displeasure, squashed between James and a wall. James, determinedly trying to seem nonchalant, turns his attention to Lou, who's sitting on his other side, herself rather squashed against Remus. James squeezes her knee playfully. She flicks his hand. He sticks out his tongue. She crosses her eyes. Both of them laugh softly, and the rest of the compartment look on, slightly bewildered.

"Good meeting?" asks Sirius generally of the Prefectorial body of his friends. James pulls a face.

"It was very informative," says Remus.

They laugh. "I saw Anna earlier, why isn't she a Prefect?" asks Lou.

James shrugs. "I don't know. Most people in most years have the potential to do the job well, but obviously they can't make everyone Prefects."

"True. Anyway, what did being a Prefect every do for anyone? I mean," - realising that more than half of her present friends are Prefects - "it's, erm….good."

Lou is the first person to laugh at this - she laughs at herself more than at anyone else - and the compartment is filled with laughter for a short while.

Talk quickly turns to the hideous prospects of the next academic year, and slowly, these seven teenagers begin to relax. When the witch with the food trolley visits, Sirius insists on buying enough confectionary to feed an army, and sharing it with the whole compartment.

"Aren't you supposed to be a runaway?" asks Mary, biting into a Cauldron Cake. "Aren't you supposed to be _poor?"_

"Sirius never does anything he's supposed to do," says Remus, half mocking, half affectionate.

Sirius grins. "I've been saving up for ages. Then my Great-Uncle died and left me…well, a fortune. That's how I bought the flat."

"The brilliant, brilliant flat." adds James.

"We get the picture, stupid. You don't need to tell us how much you want to marry Sirius' flat _every _time it's mentioned," says Lou, throwing a green Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Bean at him. He catches it deftly and puts it into his mouth.

"Mint!" he says triumphantly.

Silence. The whole compartment watch him, his expression impressively passive.

Still they watch.

James screws up his face.

"Alright, alright, I think it was snot!" he says, spitting the bean into a tissue.

The laughter that ensues is raucous, to say the least, and, as Lou says, "completely inappropriate considering we have the Head Boy and Girl _and_ two Prefects amongst our number."

"We may have to be responsible on the train, but personally," says James, "I refuse to be grown up until I'm actually there."

"True," says Lily. "We need to make the most of our freedom while we can."

Should anybody feel like dropping a pin, it would definitely be heard. James looks like he's gone to heaven, and Lily looks shocked at her own audacity - agreeing with James and shunning responsibility in one sentence. Lou elbows James repeatedly, enthusiastically. He finally turns to look at her, questioningly. She widens her eyes, grins, and nods in Lily's direction.

James can't suppress his smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

A week later. The majority of the seventh-year contingent of the Gryffindor common room is gathered around a large table. Silence. Everybody is reading, or writing. Louisa yawns, buries her face in her book and groans.

Swift smiles from the rest of the table. No words.

Lily turns over a page in her book. Remus searches the desk for his quill, which seems to have disappeared. Without looking up, Sirius slides his own spare quill over the desk towards Remus. Mary opens her rune dictionary with a sigh.

Lou tears off a piece of parchment, screws it up and throws it at James. He looks up, distinctly relieved to be distracted from his essay.

"What?" he asks.

"Can we have a Quidditch practice? Tomorrow? We haven't practiced yet and we need to, and as much as I love books, I haven't read anything _willingly _for a whole week, and I really need to fly around and hit things."

James grins. "I'll put a sign on the notice board in a bit."

Lou smiles, closes her book decisively, and stands up. "Thanks. I'm going to bed."

Panic grips the whole group.

"Have you done the Potions essay?" asks James, almost accusingly.

"Yeah, it's easy once you get the main principle."

"What about the Defence Against the Dark Arts research?" asks Remus.

"Did it in my free period earlier."

"The Charms assignment?" Lily's voice is weak.

"I did _that _yesterday."

"I hate you," says James.

"I hate you, too," says Lou brightly, gathering up her books and leaving the common room.

She walks up the stairs _almost _jauntily - a hard week of intensive NEWT-level work after a whole summer of laziness drains the jauntiness from everyone.

She opens the door of the dormitory, and there she sees Kelly and Jess. Privately, she thinks of them as 'The Twins'. They're not, they're not even related, but Kelly Marks and Jessica Bateman are frighteningly similar. Kelly is dark and Jess is fair, but from their facial expressions to their immaculate make-up, from the way they style their hair to their opinions on everything, they are essentially the same person.

"Hi Lou!" says Kelly. "Have you had a good day?"

"Apart from the mind-numbingly difficult lessons, yeah, it's been great."

"But what have you done apart from lessons?"

"Nothing."

The Twins look at each other. Privately, they think that Louisa Reece is weird, crazy and odd. In reality, she is beyond their comprehension. They can't understand a girl who likes books, and Quidditch, and is friendly with boys she's not attracted to. And then there's the sarcasm, which goes straight over their heads. They're not stupid girls (Lou tells herself, with more kindness than conviction), they're just single-minded.

"I saw you were sitting next to Sirius in the common room," says Jess.

"Was I?"

"Are you going out with him?"

"Of course not."

"Do you think he'll go out with me?"

Lou considers Jess' appearance, and notorious lack of sense, and what she knows of Sirius' dating history. "Probably," she says. Never has such an innocuous word sounded so insulting.

Lou tidies her books and bids The Twins goodnight.

The next day, after lessons, Lou runs up to Gryffindor Tower, grabs her broom and runs down to the Quidditch Pitch. When the rest of the team get down there, she is already in the air, flying around, enjoying the wind on her face, hitting imaginary Bludgers with her bat.

"Lou!" calls James, and she speedily changes direction, landing in front of him smoothly. He grins.

"You must have ran so quickly to get down here."

"I did."

"Well, everyone else is getting changed, so shall we fetch the balls? Sirius and I are already changed."

Lou flicks her eyes suspiciously over James' shoulder. "Hi, Sirius. Why are you here?"

Before Sirius can answer, James speaks. "We need a second Beater, Sirius has agreed to help us until we find someone."

"Are you good?"

Sirius shrugs. "I can fly. And I like Quidditch."

"_Brilliant._" There's an accusation in her eyes when she looks at James.

"Actually," says James, "it only takes two of us to carry the balls. Come with me, Lou."

They walk off together silently.

"What?" asks James.

"I didn't speak."

"You didn't need to. What's wrong?"

"What do you _think _is wrong? This is Quidditch, it's important, it's not just something you can invite your friends to and have a good time. We need good players, not just people who you happen to like."

"Are you accusing me of…of nepotism?"

Lou smiles, despite herself. "No, James. I'm accusing you of being an idiot."

"I thought it would be easier, having a full team. I thought you'd appreciate another Beater."

"I would, it's just, is he any good?"

"Not especially."

"Then he's completely useless. I'm used to playing with people who are really good, and if I have to play with someone who's rubbish then it hinders my development and it does the team no good at all."

"Give him a chance. Just this once."

"Alright, but I'm not going easy on him."

Two hours later, Sirius staggers into the common room, accompanied by James, who tries - and fails - to hide his smile. Sirius rubs the back of his head, slightly dazed. "Never again," he says. "No way. _Never again._"

Remus, the only one of their group currently in the room, looks up from his essay. "Good practice?"

"No," says Sirius. "Louisa Reece tried to kill me."

"No she didn't," says James. "She just tried to prove your unsuitability as a Beater."

"By trying to kill me."

"By hitting Bludgers at you, Sirius. That's what Beaters _do._"

"I'm going, to…" Sirius gazes around, confused. "Lie down for a bit. If I don't wake up, get Pomfrey."

He walks away slowly. James is kind enough to wait until Sirius is out of sight before bursting into laughter. Remus chuckles too, and their laughter is interrupted by Lou sauntering into the room. She slides into a chair with a smile.

"What's funny, gents?"

"I've just seen Sirius," says Remus. "I think you've frightened him for life. Was he really not any good?"

"She didn't give him a _chance _to be good," says James.

"What, and you think other teams would? You think there's anyone on any team in this school who would be less aggressive than I was?"

James doesn't reply. Lou continues.

"In answer to your question, Remus, Sirius is a decent flier. He'd be a reasonable Chaser if we trained him up, but we've already got three _great _Chasers, we don't need anyone else. And he's just not cut out to be a Beater. He's got the strength, but he hasn't got the aim. And he _dodges _Bludgers, instead of trying to hit them."

"What are you going to do, then?"

"Hold trials," says James. "Hope for the best. Hope there's someone in this House whose playing doesn't send Lou into evil murderer mode."

"I resent that," says Lou. "You know full well that I only do what's best for the team."

James smiles. "I know, I was only teasing."

"Good. Anyway, there's one piece of good news for Sirius. I spoke to Kelly and Jess last night, and Jess was all," - Lou adopts a high pitched voice - "_Do you think Sirius will go out with me? _So even though he can't play Quidditch, he still hasn't lost his touch in seducing dimwits."

"I thought you were going to be nice to them?" asks Remus.

"Trust me, I could have called her a lot worse than that."

They laugh.

"I don't think Sirius will be that pleased about Jess, though," says James, thoughtfully.

"Why not? I thought he liked them stupid? Less brain cells than Jess and he'd be snogging a turnip."

"And that's nice?" asks James with a grin. Lou shrugs. James continues - "I don't know what's going through his head, to be honest. All Summer, he was surprisingly _inactive_. I mean, he was all for smiling at people so we could get cool stuff, but he never really seemed interested in anyone."

"Maybe he's sickening for something," says Lou.

"He's growing up," observes Remus, wisely.

James looks stricken.

"Don't be selfish, James. You've been growing up for ages, it's only fair to let Sirius do it, too."

"But he always said that adults were boring! He always said that he was never going to be anything other than adolescent and annoying."

"People change their minds. Maybe he's looking for something meaningful."

"But he always said -"

"Maybe _meaningful _isn't such a bad word to him anymore."

Silence, thinking.

The door opens, and in walks Lily. "Hi!" says Lou with a smile. "Where have you been?"

Lily steals a glance at James. "Meeting with Dumbledore."

James looks up, horrified. "Not the meeting? The meeting that he said we'd have? The important meeting? That was today?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me last night when I agreed to arrange Quidditch for this afternoon?"

"I forgot, myself, until ten minutes before the meeting."

"What did he say? Did he say I'm the worst Head Boy ever? Did he say he'll take my badge from me? Banish me from the school?"

"I told him there'd been a scheduling problem, and your work as Quidditch Captain had accidentally coincided with the meeting. I told him you'd be along to apologise when you could, and that I'd recount the meeting to you."

"And he was okay with that?"

"He didn't seem to mind."

James leaps to his feet. "Thank you, so much. I could kiss you."

"I know," she says, softly, as he runs out of the room.

Lou raises her eyebrows, but Lily shakes her head and sits down. "How was Quidditch?" she asks pointedly.

Lou is confused, her mind's fully occupied with thoughts of the exchange she's just witnessed. "Oh, you know, okay," she says.

Remus glances at them both, smiles slightly, and stands up. "I'm going to go to the library," he says. "For…"

"Books?"

"Yes. Thank you, Lou. For books. Enjoy your conversation."

They watch until the portrait closes behind him, and then Lou looks intently at her friend.

"What was that? What happened?"

"What?" Lily is unconvincingly off-hand.

"You know what! You were _nice _to James. You made _excuses _for him. You _volunteered _to spend time with him. You looked _wistfully _at him."

"I was friendly. I have to be friendly because he's Head Boy and I'm Head Girl and friendliness is what we do. And I made excuses for him for the same reason. And we have to spend time together anyway. As for wistfully…I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You are _not _getting away with it that easily. This is _huge. _Do you like him? Do you actually, _really _like him, after all this time?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

Eye contact. Lou looks eagerly at Lily.

"I don't like him. Not in the way that you're thinking," insists Lily.

"But in some way?"

"Not especially. We have to work together. We are not close, there is no _thing _between us. I'm just being friendly. It's what's appropriate."

"I don't believe it."

"It's true."

"If it's true now, it soon won't be."

"What makes you say that?"

Lou grins. "The look in your eyes. There's no mistaking that, my friend. You _like _him, in some way, and soon enough you will like him more."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lou laughs. "Of course you don't, Lily. _Of course you don't._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Lou is sitting alone in the Gryffindor common room, curled up in front of the fire, sticking photographs into a book.

Sirius walks into the room, yawning.

Lou glances up. "Alright?"

"Yeah, I had a sleep, I'm okay now."

"I'm sorry. About the Quidditch. And the, you know…violence."

"It's okay," says Sirius good-naturedly, sitting down in the armchair next to hers. "Where is everyone?"

"Doing Prefecty things. And Peter's in detention for blowing up that cauldron."

Sirius smiles. "What are you doing?"

"Scrapbook. I think I'm going to make copies of it, and make them Christmas presents." She hands what she's done over to him. He flicks through it.

"I like it."

"It's just about all I can afford, to be honest."

"I thought your dad was high-up at the Ministry? Isn't he loaded?"

"Probably. I won't see any of it, though. He hates me these days."

Sirius' glance is questioning, as he looks at the pictures piled on the table.

"I remind him of my mum. He can't bear to have me around."

"She died, didn't she? Death Eaters?"

"Yeah. New Year's Eve. She was alone and she was a Muggle, she didn't stand a chance." The forced calm of Lou's voice speaks of more grief than tears ever could.

"I like this one," says Sirius, softly, holding out a picture for her to see. It's a photograph of Lou and James, at around fourteen. They're pulling faces and pushing each other out of the way, each trying to be the main focus of the picture.

Lou smiles. "We were idiots in those days, weren't we?"

"Still are."

They're both glad to have something to laugh at. "You've changed," says Sirius, looking at the photo more carefully. The Lou in the picture is happy and cheerful and laughing - Lou is the same these days, but there's something else there, too. The surfaces of her eyes are so often sparkling with humour, interest or confrontation, that only people who look closely can see that there is something underneath those surfaces - seriousness and grief, mostly, but also an intelligence that she rarely advertises.

She takes the picture from him. "I'm taller, obviously."

"That's not what I -"

"I know."

Silence. Lou continues to stick pictures into the book, occasionally smiling softly. Sirius stares into the fireplace.

"We don't speak much, do we?" he says.

"Now or always?"

"Both."

"Probably because we'd both rather be talking to James."

"We don't only have to speak to him, though. We could sometimes talk to each other. Like friends."

"Well, we've never been enemies."

"Un-enemies isn't the same as friends."

"True."

More silence. Lou seems to be content with her scrapbook, and Sirius feels awkward. He's not sure why, but this feels important to him.

"Do you think we - your friends, and my friends - could be friends?"

"We mostly are."

"Well then, more so."

She looks up, somewhat impatiently. "What do you want, Sirius? Day-trips? Hand-holding? One big happy family?"

"No, it's not that, it's just…I like you - Mary, and Lily and you. And if you like us too, then maybe we should all hang around together more."

"We do like you, we always have."

Sirius raises an eyebrow.

"Well, apart from Lily. And she only really didn't like James, and that was his own fault, he got it into his head that the only way to make her like him was to annoy her."

Sirius grins. "If something happens between them, we should be prepared. We should all be friendly - we don't want arguments when they get together."

Lou looks confused. "We're not Montagues and Capulets. Mary and I are hardly going to want to kill him for going out with her."

"What?"

"Never mind. Look, Sirius, if you want to hang around with us, that's fine. Consider us friends, it's no big deal." She grins. "This picture is definitely going in the book!"

He looks. It's a picture of himself and Remus, playing wizard's chess. He's clearly losing. He looks like he's considering throwing the board across the room.

Sirius laughs.

They sit, mostly silent, sifting through Lou's photographs. He hands the ones he likes to her, occasionally with a few words, or a laugh, and she looks at them, and decides where they should go in her book. It's a comfortable way to spend an evening, and Sirius is surprised to find himself feeling almost disappointed when James walks through the portrait-hole.

Lou slips all of the pictures inside her book, and the book into her bag - she doesn't want James to see his Christmas present.

James walks over to where they're sat, and sits down, smiling. "Lou, are you free next Wednesday evening?"

"No plans as yet."

"Shall we hold Beater trials then?"

"Sure."

"Sirius, do you want to try out?"

"But I won't -"

"Slughorn's having a gathering."

"In that case, I will _definitely _try out."

"You never know," says Lou, "If everyone else is rubbish, you might get on the team."

"Thanks." Sirius throws a cushion at her, and she returns it with considerably more force.

"Is there any way to use the trials to get the others out of Slughorn's torture night?"

James grins. "Already sorted. Lily, Mary and Remus are supervising, in their Prefectorial capacity - in case you all go wild and I can't handle you - and Peter's going to be in charge of the balls."

"Ball-boy," says Lou, mock-seriously. "Possibly the most important Quidditch position of the lot."

Laughter.

"Peter never gets invited, though, does he?" asks Sirius.

"No," says James. "But it would have been mean of me to point that out."

"True. We'll have to go to Slughorn's Hallowe'en thing, though, won't we?" Sirius asks.

"Yeah," says James. "He always lets us know well in advance so we can make ourselves free."

"It's more than a whole month away, though. And it's not that bad," says Lou. "It'll be like a party, rather than sitting around listening to him talk about all the brilliant people he knows. And I've got a bottle of Firewhiskey upstairs to numb the pain."

James looks at her uncertainly. "You're going to get drunk in a teacher's office?"

"You bet. Fancy joining me?"

"That depends."

"On whether or not Lily agrees to go as your date?"

James blushes, and changes the subject.

The following Wednesday evening, after the trials, Lily, Mary, Sirius, Peter and Remus are sitting in the common room. The trials ended a while ago, and the common room is almost empty. James and Lou come bursting into the room.

"- a complete waste of time," James is saying.

Lou looks furious. "It was _not _a waste of time, if you'd just accept what I'm saying!"

Many eyebrows are raised. James and Lou don't really do arguing - not seriously, anyway.

"But you're not making any sense! It's just wishful thinking."

"It's _not. _Shacklebolt could be good, _really _good, if you'd just give him a chance."

"Who's Shacklebolt?" asks Remus, politely.

"Second-year. Tried out just after Sirius," says James.

"Shacklebolt. Cool name," says Sirius.

"It doesn't matter what his name is!" shouts James. "He's a _second-year, _and she thinks he's good enough to be our new Beater."

"You were a second-year when you joined the team!" retorts Lou.

"It's not the same and you know it, Beating requires strength!"

"I was only a third year when I joined the team, and I managed fine. And I hate to mention this but the average boy is stronger than the average girl so he could easily be as strong as I was when I joined the team."

"You're different."

"_How_?"

"Lou, you're one of the best players Gryffindor's ever had, McGonagall says so."

Lou reddens. "Even if that _is _true, Kingsley could easily be as good as me, if we train him up now."

"_Kingsley_ Shacklebolt?" Sirius is in name-based heaven, and is promptly ignored.

"We've only got a year left, Lou, what use is training him up going to be?"

"The Quidditch team won't just stop existing because we'll leave. We've got to think of the team that follows, and what Anna's going to do with them, and if we train him this year then he'll be really good by the time Anna's Captain, and that can only be good for her - she'll already be looking for a Chaser and one Beater, why not make it so she has one good Beater?"

James slumps into a chair. "I haven't got time to train him, what with being Captain and practicing my own position, and teaching Anna about Captaining, and being Head Boy, and trying to pass my NEWTs."

"I'll do it, then."

James looks doubtful.

"Put him on the team, James, and I swear he'll be brilliant by the end of the year."

James gives up.

"Fine. I'm going to bed."

She touches his hand as he walks past her, and they both smile, and suddenly it's as if they never argued.

Lou sits down in James' recently-vacated chair. "Sorry you didn't make the team, Sirius."

"That's alright," he grins. "I much prefer cheering you lot on."

"Are you going to spend the next few weeks trying to think of good things to rhyme with Shacklebolt?" asks Remus.

"You know me too well," replies Sirius.

The whole group laughs. "You know, next time Slughorn invites us all to his room, we'll just have a Quidditch practice, and you lot can say you're helping out, like tonight."

There are grateful smiles all round. "Thanks, Lou," says Mary. "He's not a bad man, I just don't like spending more time with him than I have to."

More laughter.

"This is…nice," says Remus.

"What is?"

"This. All of us, sitting together, like one big group. I like it."

Lou and Sirius catch each other's eyes and smile.

"I'm glad you approve," says Sirius.

"We're friends, now," says Lou.

"I thought we were before," says Lily, confused.

"No, we were un-enemies, before. It's not the same."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

A few weeks later, and everybody's settled down to school. The reality of it all - the hard work expected of 7th years, not to mention the responsibility, and setting a good example - comes as a bit of a shock to many students. Those who had been hoping to enjoy their final year are faced with the unappealing prospect of almost-constant studying. The atmosphere amongst the 7th years of Hogwarts is one of shock and panic.

The Common Room is almost empty. Lily and James are trying to sort out Prefect Duty lists, and it's taking much longer than they expected.

Lou is sitting in an armchair nearby, reading. She closes her book, yawns and stands up. "I'm off to bed, guys. See you tomorrow."

They look up from their lists to murmur their goodbyes, and Lou walks up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

At the top of the stairs, she drops her book. Sighing, she bends down to pick it up, and catches a glimpse of the Common Room between the rails of the banister.

James is looking at Lily nervously. Lou smiles fondly, and is just about to stand up and go to bed when James speaks.

"Lily, will you go to Slughorn's Hallowe'en party with me?"

"Sure."

Silence. Lily continues writing. James looks bewildered. Their secret onlooker stifles a laugh.

"Sure? As in, 'sure, yes'?"

"Yes, James. You see," Lily starts to explain.

Lou stands upright and runs into the dormitory, grinning.

By the next day, everyone knows that James Potter and Lily Evans are going to have their first date at Slughorn's party. The whole school seems to have an opinion on this, and Lily and James are walking around the school, permanently blushing.

Lou sits in her favourite armchair in the Common Room, attempting to write an essay. James and Lily sit on the other side of the fireplace, deep in awkward but happy conversation. She looks behind her and sees that Sirius is on the other side of the room, with a small group of girls, amongst them Kelly and Jess.

He looks up at that moment and catches her eye. He looks harassed, and his eyes are pleading with her for help. Lou considers, for a moment, ignoring his look and letting him suffer. But then she remembers that he's not James and, despite their increasing friendliness, she doesn't really know how he'd react to her sacrificing him for humour.

"Hey, Sirius," she calls across the room. "Are you free for a minute? I need your Potions expertise."

Sirius extricates himself from the throng, mutters "Sorry, ladies, a friend in need and all that," and walks over to Lou. He smiles at James and Lily and sits down on a chair beside Lou.

"Thank you," he says fervently. "Although it was a rubbish lie, everyone knows how good you are at Potions."

"You didn't think I was going to waste my good lies on _them, _did you?"

Sirius chuckles. "They keep hinting that they want me to ask them to Slughorn's party," he says, in an injured voice.

Lou arranges her features into mock sympathy. "Oh, what a terrible thing it is, to be adored."

Sirius laughs, but is adamant. "It is! It's frightening. I don't think they'll give me any peace until I find someone else to go with."

"Find someone, then,"

Sirius looks over at James and Lily. They're still talking, and they're not paying attention to the conversation going on opposite them.

"How about it?"

Lou finishes writing her sentence, then looks up at him, distracted. "How about what?"

"Will you go to Slughorn's party with me?"

"I'm already going."

Sirius is confused. "I know. But we could go…together. Couldn't we?"

"The only reason anybody asks anybody to go to these things with them is if a) one of them isn't invited, b) they're a couple, or c) they're a sort-of-almost-couple like Lily and James."

"You forgot d) one of them's being harassed by scary girls."

Lou laughs. "No offence, Sirius, but if I said yes then they'd harass me as much as you."

"You're turning me down for a quiet life?"

"Don't knock the quiet life until you've tried it."

Sirius grins, and Lou grins too, knowing that Sirius would never in a million years willingly live a quiet life. Lou returns to her essay, pulling a face.

"I'd better go to the library. I need more information." She stands up, smiles, and leaves the room.

Sirius watches her go, and then turns to look at Lily and James. They are both staring at him. He wonders how long they've been listening. He suspects the worst, and his suspicions are confirmed when James gets up and wanders in the general direction of a chess tournament at the other side of the room.

Lily gets up and sits in Lou's recently-vacated seat.

"If you hurt her," she mutters, "I will break every bone in your body."

"What?"

"Lou. Don't hurt her."

"I don't plan to."

"Sirius, every girl who takes you seriously ends up getting hurt. I don't want Lou to be one of them."

"I doubt she takes me seriously. She turned me down."

"Are you really surprised? You asked her out as a favour, to get other girls off your back. No self-respecting woman would agree to that."

"I thought she turned me down because she wanted a quiet life."

"You really don't know her at all, do you? The day Louisa Reece willingly chooses a quiet life will be the day I announce my undying love for Professor McGonagall."

"And you're not -?"

"- no, Sirius."

"Why are you doing this?"

"She's my best friend."

"But can't she look after herself?"

Lily looks thoughtful. "Once, perhaps. But her mum was murdered and her dad wants nothing to do with her and she has no-one in her life apart from her friends. So we have to look after her. If you let her down, it'll be awful."

"So what do you suggest?"

"Keep away. Be friendly, but just that. Don't lead her on, Sirius, because it won't be you who has to put her back together."

Lily gets up and walks over to James, leaving Sirius thinking hard.

That evening, Sirius has just got into bed when James wanders into his cubicle. James gets into the opposite end of Sirius' bed, wrapping the covers around himself.

Sirius sits up, and looks questioningly at him. James gets straight to the point.

"How do you feel about Lou?"

"What?"

"I heard you, earlier. Asking her out. All calm like it didn't matter."

"It didn't."

"Don't be stupid. Sirius Black _never _asks girls out. Sirius Black waits for them to throw themselves at him."

"I was asking her for a favour. To get the girls off my back."

"Since when did you ever want to get girls off your back?"

"Since the only ones who like me are vacuous and frightening."

James laughs. "'Vacuous and frightening' are probably the only two attributes that all your former girlfriends share."

"Well maybe I don't want that anymore."

"What _do _you want?"

"I don't know."

"I'm worried about you, Sirius."

It's Sirius' turn to laugh. "What? Why?"

"If you like her, if you really like her, she will hurt you."

Sirius is confused. "What do you mean?"

"Look at her track record. Not as extensive as yours, by any means, but every boyfriend she's ever had, she's dumped him. Remember last year, when she chucked that Ravenclaw guy, Simpson, because he grew a beard?"

"It _was _an awful beard."

"Then what about Podmore? Sturgis Podmore, that legend amongst men, and she _dumped _him! No-one's safe!"

Sturgis Podmore is two years older than them, and James and Sirius view him as an idol. Clever, popular, suave, and probably the biggest ladies' man to ever grace Hogwarts. Both boys think they should be more successful than him - Sirius has the advantage of good hair, and James the advantage of Quidditch prowess - yet both have failed, although popular opinion admits that Sirius has come close.

"Maybe she dumped him because of his stupid hair?"

James shakes his head. "She told me what she said. She told him that she was dumping him because it had got _boring._ Sturgis Podmore - boring! So what chance do you think you have? I heard that Podmore always ends all of his relationships in the fifth week, because he can't bear to reach the sixth in case he gets dumped again. She's _ruined_ him."

"He always was a bit of an idiot."

Silence. James looks at Sirius, dumbstruck.

"Okay, okay, I didn't mean it! You know I didn't!"

James breathes a sigh of relief.

"Honestly, Sirius, it's not worth it. Lou, I mean. I love her to bits but if you get involved with her, she will break you."

"What if I don't care? What if I'm willing to risk it?"

"Don't ask me to pick up the pieces."

"What makes you think I'd be heartbroken anyway? What makes you think I care? Why can't I just like her because she's pretty, like all the other girls I've ever liked?"

"I've seen the way you look at her."

"And?"

"It's like looking in a mirror. It's how I look at Lily."

"Like a desperate imbecile?"

James grins. "Something like that."

James gets out of the bed and returns to his own cubicle, and Sirius lies back, thinking.

It's a long time before he manages to get to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

It's the evening of October 31st. In the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, Lily, Lou and Mary are getting ready for the party, and Kelly is watching them, disgruntled.

Jess suddenly barges into the room, treating the door with such a force that Lou pokes herself in the eye with her mascara.

"I'm going to the party!" declares Jess.

"What? Who with?" Kelly looks like she's about to cry.

"Sirius. He just asked me in the Common Room." Jess and Kelly make sounds like a pair of dying seals, and Mary, Lou and Lily determinedly avoid each other's eyes - admittedly easier for Lou, who's still squinting.

"This isn't fair!" says Kelly. "You're all going to Slughorn's party and I'll be left alone."

"Why don't you ask someone who's going without a date to take you? Remus or someone?" asks Jess.

"He's taking Peter," smirks Lou, delicately wiping her injured eye.

Kelly and Jess round on her, positively salivating at the gossip-potential of that statement. "Like a couple?" breathes Jess.

"Don't be stupid," says Kelly, "Even gays don't go for short and dumpy."

Lou screws up her face, subduing laughter. "_Some people _have this thing. It's called a personality - have you heard of it?" she says. "Although actually, he's taking him because Peter wasn't invited, and that's what friends do."

Kelly and Jess look at each other, wondering if they should be offended, but then seem to decide that finding Kelly a date is a better use of their time.

"Will you take me?" asks Kelly, after scanning her mind for boys who're going alone.

It takes Lou a moment to realise who she's talking to. "What?"

"To the party. Like Remus is taking Peter."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because that's what friends do?"

Lou laughs, tempted to say no, but her kindness gets the better of her. "Go on then."

Kelly squeals, and sets about finding some clothes.

Lily wanders over to Lou's cubicle. "Are you okay?" she mutters.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I saw you…crying."

"_What?"_

"When Jess said about going to the party with Sirius."

Lou looks confused for a moment, and then bursts into laughter.

"Why are you laughing?"

Lou struggles to catch her breath. "I…poked myself. In the eye…with my mascara!"

Lily smiles. "You're sure?"

"It's kind of hard to miss an accidental-almost-eye-gouging. Why would I be crying, anyway?"

"Well, because Sirius asked you."

"And I turned him down."

"I know, it's just -"

"- so why would I cry?"

Lily sighs. "No reason."

A couple of hours later, the girls walk down to the Common Room, where they're met by James and Sirius - Remus and Peter having gone on ahead. Sirius' eyes widen when he sees Lou - she's wearing a bright pink cowboy hat, a strappy top of the same shade, tight black jeans and knee-length boots, obviously Colour Charmed to be the same shade as her hat and top. He determinedly looks away from her, though, and sees Kelly.

"Hey, Kel, I didn't realise you were coming, too! Who's your date?"

"Lou," she says, as the group of them make their way out of the Common Room.

Sirius grins. "James! We've got lesbians! Actual, real-life lesbians!"

Lou hits his arm playfully. "Shut it, you," she says, falling into step with him.

"You've got _terrible _taste in girls," he says with a smirk.

"Says the boy who's on a date with her clone."

Sirius bursts into laughter.

They reach the party, and are welcomed by Professor Slughorn into his office, which he has magically expanded into a large room, and has even added a balcony.

Once they're inside the party, many of their little group split up and move across the room to speak to people they know. Lou turns to Kelly and grins. "Fly, my pretty!" she says, with a wave of her hand. Kelly looks confused, and quickly makes her way across the room.

Remus walks up to Lou, smiling, and squeezes her arm. "I hear you're joining me in - what did James call it? - _gaying it up_ tonight."

Lou laughs. "Maybe we should have just swapped dates? Then we'd have less gay jokes to deal with."

Remus looks doubtful. "I don't think that anybody would for a moment accept that you were on a date with Peter and that I was here with Kelly."

More laughter.

Lou wanders the party, talking to people, occasionally dancing. After an hour or so, she's quite bored, and starts looking for somewhere where she can drink her Firewhiskey. She sees James and Lily dancing, close but awkward, and smiles, before heading out to the balcony.

A little while later, she is sitting alone, taking surreptitious sips from her bottle and gazing at the darkening sky.

"Hey," says a voice, and she looks up to see a stressed-looking Sirius standing above her. "Can I sit down?"

"Of course," she says, moving up a little so he has more room.

"I think you've found the most private place in this whole party."

"That's what Regulus said."

"You've been talking to my brother?"

"Well, he was talking to me. _At _me, really. In hindsight, I think he might have been trying to seduce me."

"Want me to curse him?"

"Why would I deny myself the pleasure?"

Sirius laughs. "Are you planning on drinking all of that?"

Lou looks at him thoughtfully, before pushing the bottle into his hand. He takes a large gulp.

"I'd stay away from that Regulus, if I was you. Dodgy family."

"Yeah, I've heard that all the Blacks are maniacs."

"Apart from his older brother. He's pretty cool."

"Really? I thought he was the maddest of the lot."

"Mad and cool aren't mutually exclusive."

Laughing, Lou snatches the bottle from his hand and takes a drink.

Sirius stops, listening hard. Before Lou can ask what's wrong, he takes a cloak that she vaguely recognises out of his pocket, and covers himself with it. He disappears.

Suddenly, Jess is standing on the balcony. "Hi, Lou," she says. "Have you seen Sirius? He seems to have disappeared on me."

Lou tries not to laugh. "Erm, I think I saw him earlier," she says, thinking quickly. "Said something about a headache. He's probably gone to bed."

Jess tuts. "I suppose I'd better just enjoy the party then. I'll see him tomorrow. But you'd think he could have told _me _he was going. I mean, I _am _his date."

Lou tries to arrange her features into something resembling sympathy, and Jess walks away.

"Thank you," mutters Sirius.

"Are you going to get out from under there? I hate talking to invisible people."

"No! She might come back. You can get under if you like, though." He lifts up the side of the cloak closest to her.

Lou laughs and slides under it. They wrap the cloak close around them. "Did you steal this from James?"

Sirius looks offended. "He offered it to me. He guessed I might need to disappear tonight, hide from Jess."

"What were we thinking of," Lou asks, "Bringing those two?"

"At least yours doesn't try to grope you," says Sirius. "Does she?" There's an undeniable hopefulness to Sirius' question, and she hits him, smiling.

A few moments of comfortable silence - and drinking - pass.

"What's all this about, anyway?" asks Sirius, gesturing at Lou's outfit, but accidentally brushing her with his hand.

Lou raises an eyebrow. "They're called breasts, Sirius. Many women have them." She grins. "And here I was, thinking you understood girls."

Sirius blushes slightly. "I meant the outfit. The colours."

Lou shrugs. "I like colours. Bright colours."

"They suit you."

She grins, taking off her hat and placing it on his head. "Suit you, too."

"You didn't want a quiet life, did you?"

Lou doesn't have to ask what he's talking about, but it's a long time before she answers.

"No," she says softly. "I wanted…options."

"You think I'd stick by your side all night if you didn't want me to? You think I'd _force _you to act like something was going on between us?"

Lou shrugs. "I think everyone would believe something was going on. I don't like being talked about."

"So you turn up to the party, fluorescent and on a date with another girl?"

"It's different."

"How?"

"Everyone expects me to be fluorescent by now. And as for Kelly -"

"- you'd rather people thought you were a lesbian than on a date with me?"

"I didn't want to have to deal with all the bitchy, jealous girls. I didn't want everyone to go on about it and try to make it into something more. If I'd come with you, it'd only be helping out a friend, but other people would make it seem like so much more. I couldn't be bothered."

She sighs, leaning into him, and he instinctively slips his arm around her shoulders.

They sit, talking, drinking, laughing, deep into the night.

During a lull in their conversation, they realise that they can no longer hear noises from the party. Puzzled, Lou extricates herself from the Invisibility Cloak, stands up - a little unstably - and looks into Slughorn's office. She laughs.

"Sirius," she says. "They've gone! The party's over!"

Sirius stands up, leaving the cloak on the floor, and moves to stand beside her. Slughorn's office, which seems to have only minutes ago been thronged with talking, dancing people, is now empty and dark. He rattles the door handle, but the door doesn't open. He takes out his wand. "_Alohamora_," he says, to no effect. Lou is laughing still, and Sirius joins in.

Lou walks over to the edge of the balcony, and leans over its wall, looking at the moonlit grounds.

"Mind you don't fall," says Sirius, walking to her and holding her arm.

"I'm not _that _drunk," she says, moving away from him. "Look, I can walk in a straight line!"

She staggers across the balcony and stumbles into his arms, laughing. He laughs too, but quickly stops when he catches her eye.

She stands up straight and they're close, too close. He's still wearing her hat, looking ridiculous. She takes it off his head and puts it back on her own, but he takes it off again and drops it to the floor beside them. She looks at him, questioningly. Sirius takes a deep breath and presses his trembling lips against her mouth.

She's surprised, at first, but she shrugs, laughs, and starts kissing him back, burying her fingers in his hair. He pushes her against the wall of the balcony, their bodies pressed against each other.

He pulls out of the kiss, and uses his thumbs to touch her face - her soft cheeks, her full lips. He smiles. "We should do this more often," he says.

"What, get drunk and snog on balconies?"

"Yeah. Well, maybe the drink and the balcony could be optional. And maybe we could do other stuff, too."

"Sirius Black, are you being inappropriate with me?"

"No, I didn't mean, although I wouldn't…oh, shut up," he presses his finger against her lips, to stop her from laughing at him. "I meant, we could be something more. Like a," he pauses, unsure as to whether he should use this word, "a relationship?"

She pulls away from him. She picks up her hat and jams it on to her head, and picks up the Invisibility Cloak, placing it into his arms.

"Lou?" Sirius is confused. "I don't understand."

"I don't want a relationship with you," she says in a strained voice.

"But you kissed me."

"I would have thought that you of all people would know that a drunken kiss and a relationship are two entirely different species."

She walks to the side of the balcony, and climbs over the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"That window's open. If we can get into the school, we can use the cloak to get back to Gryffindor Tower."

She edges along the wall and slides a leg into the open window. "Are you coming?"

"Er, okay," says Sirius, climbing over the balcony wall with considerably less finesse.

When they're both inside the empty classroom, Sirius lights his wand and looks at Lou. "Please talk to me," he says.

"We've been talking all night. What do you want to talk about?"

"Don't avoid the subject."

"What subject, Sirius? We got drunk, we kissed. How exactly is that something new for you?"

"I _like_ you, Lou."

He takes her hand in his. She notices that he's shaking, and softens a little.

"Can't we just forget this happened?"

"Why? Is it because of my reputation? D'you think I'm not serious?"

"I don't know. It's not that."

"Than what is it? I care about you."

"I can't let myself care about you. If I care about people, they disappear, or they let me down."

"I'm not your parents. I'm not going to get killed by Death Eaters. I'm not going to suddenly decide I don't want you around."

"You can't promise that." She touches his face, with a hint of regret. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I can't have a relationship."

"But if you don't let yourself be close to people, then the bad people have won."

Lou smiles bitterly. "But at least I won't get hurt."

"Are we still friends?"

She kisses his cheek softly. "I hope so."

They wrap the Invisibility Cloak around themselves, and begin their journey back to the Tower.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Lou undresses quickly, changing into pyjamas. She scrubs her face clean of make-up, determinedly avoiding eye contact with her reflection. She walks into the dormitory and slips into her bed. Her feet press against a third, unconnected foot.

Her scream is quickly joined by another.

She grabs her wand and lights it quickly. "_Lily!" _she says, half-laughing, half still frightened.

"Is something wrong?" calls Mary's sleepy voice.

"No, sorry," says Lou.

Lily sits up, rubbing her eyes.

"What are you doing in my bed?" whispers Lou.

"I was waiting for you. You took ages."

"So you decided to sleep in my bed?"

"I didn't _decide _to. I was _tired."_ Lily's fully awake now. "Where were you, anyway?"

"Talking, on the balcony."

"To yourself?"

Lou hesitates. "To Sirius."

"All this time?"

Lou nods.

"What did you talk about?"

"Oh, this and that. How was your evening?"

"Brilliant. But you can't get away with it that easily. Something's wrong. What happened?"

Lou flushes. "Nothing. Are you and James a couple now?"

"Yeah. It just feels….right, you know? Lou, what happened with Sirius?"

Lily catches her eye, and Lou knows that she'll never get Lily out of her bed until she tells the truth.

"We kissed."

Lily looks at her friend shrewdly. "Not good?"

"The kiss was. What happened after wasn't."

"_What_?"

"There was talk, of a…relationship."

"Did he turn you down?"

"Actually, no!" Lou's voice raises angrily. "Of _course, he _must have turned _me _down, because _he's _beautiful and perfect in _every _way, and _I'm _just -"

"Be quiet, Lou, you'll wake the whole room. And you know I didn't mean it like that - all I meant was that he's the kind of person who runs from the word 'relationship'."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?"

"Merlin, Lou. He wanted something serious with you, and you said no?"

"I think I might have kind of upset him."

"And yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," says Lou, in one breath.

Lily grabs her hand and looks her in the eye. "Lou, you know I was dubious when he started trying to befriend you, and I thought he was just using you, but if he's talking about a relationship then he must be serious about you, and you can't turn him down because you're scared of loving someone."

"I'm not scared, Lily," says Lou, fiercely. "And, if I _was _going to love someone, I'm telling you now, it wouldn't be _him_. "

"But -"

"Are you going to get out of my bed or am I going to have to push you out?"

Early the next evening, Lou is in the Common Room, bent over her Charms essay. Lily and James walk over to her, tentatively holding hands. They sit down at the table, and are quickly followed by Mary, Remus and Peter.

"Lily told me about last night," says James.

"And me," says Mary.

Lou glares at Lily, who shrugs.

"And James told us," adds Peter.

Lou flushes.

"I think you really hurt Sirius," says James.

Lou glances around the room, and sees Sirius, who's sitting with Jess. Their heads are bent very close together, and he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, it looks like it," she says pointedly.

"We think that might be how he deals with rejection," says Remus.

Lou's "Oh," is declared with an impressive amount of disbelief.

"Lou, you've got to speak to him. If you like him, you can't let him go." Lily's comment is followed by a shy glance at James, who smiles at her.

Despite herself, Lou grins.

"We thought," says James, "Maybe we could arrange a…a meeting. And you could sit down with him, and we could leave you alone, and you could tell him how you feel."

Lou slams shut her book, stands up, and gathers up all she needs for her essay. "I'm going to the library," she says, angrily. "And if any of you _dares _to follow me, I'll hex you so badly, you'll spend the next _decade _searching for your body parts." And she storms out of the room.

An hour later, and Remus is walking between shelves. Defence Against the Dark Arts. Dangerous creatures. These are his favourite books, and he has several scrolls of parchment to write, and he's relishing the idea (contrary to his friends' beliefs, Remus rarely relishes essays. But this one, _this one _is going to be _brilliant)._ He starts humming to himself - quietly, mind, it _is _a library - and, carrying a ridiculously heavy textbook, makes his way jauntily over to an empty-looking desk.

As he places the book on to the desk, he notices that it's not empty. And that he knows the person sitting at it. He remembers the last words she spoke in his presence. He picks up the book, planning to sidle to another part of the library, but she looks up and sees him. He gulps.

"I didn't follow you," he says. "It's just, I've got an essay to write, and I needed books, and books are in the library, and the library is my -" _think of a non-stupid word, think of a non-stupid word -_ "domain."

Lou grins. "It's okay. Sit down."

Remus is uncertain. Is it a trap?

"The hexing comment was mainly aimed at James," she tells him. "And I was angry. I'm not really the body-part-removing type."

Remus breathes a sigh of relief and sits down next to her.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. I've almost got this essay done, thankfully."

"That's good. But I meant about…Sirius."

Lou looks up, and Remus is relieved to see that she no longer looks angry.

"The whole Jess thing," he says, "It doesn't mean anything to him."

"It shouldn't mean anything to me, either."

"But it does?"

Lou sighs. "I suppose. But I don't have any right to be jealous. He can see who he wants. I turned him down."

"You're jealous?"

Lou shrugs. "I'm just being stupid."

"But Lou, if you like him, and he likes you, I don't know what the problem is."

"No, I don't suppose you would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lou smiles. "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just, have you ever lost someone you loved?"

Remus shakes his head.

"Then you can't know how I feel."

"Are you talking about your mum?"

Lou nods.

"But what does that have to do with Sirius?"

"I loved her. It's a different kind of love, but it's still love. And she was killed, and the grief, it was…terrible. Still is. It's been less than a year, you know. And I'm trying to move on, trying to live my life, but it's so different now, without her in my life. And I like Sirius, but if we got together then I might grow to love him, and then I'd be vulnerable again, and if I loved him and anything happened to him, it'd break my heart, I wouldn't cope. So I can't love anyone. It's the only way to protect myself. Do you understand?"

"Sort of."

They turn to their books for a few moments.

"Are you really going to let it end there?" asks Remus sadly. "Are you really going to give up on the chance for something brilliant, just because one day it would end?"

Lou blinks, and Remus sees that her eyes are full of tears. "I have to," she says. "I can't lose anybody else. I wouldn't be able to handle it."

He reaches over and holds her hand for a few moments, before thinking it wise to change the subject.

"What do you know about Grindylows?"

Lou pulls a face. "The barest minimum. Doesn't James have some in that massive pond in his garden?"

"Yeah, he and Sirius spent a whole afternoon a couple of Summers ago, trying to catch one in a net."

Lou smiles, but the sadness in it is unmistakeable. "Maybe you should go and ask James, then? He might know something."

"Yeah," says Remus. "I'll go back to the Common Room. Are you coming?"

Lou assents, and they pack up their belongings and head back to Gryffindor Tower.

They sit with Lily, James, Mary and Peter, and for some time they pool their Grindylow-based knowledge. When that's done, Remus retires to a corner to start his essay, and Mary and Peter begin a game of Gobstones.

Lily and James are sitting together on a sofa, holding hands. Lou grabs a small stool and sits in front of them.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I've been unbearably rude, to both of you. You were only trying to help."

"It's alright," says Lily. "We understand."

"Just don't do it again."

Lou pulls a face at James, and the three of them laugh.

"So, you two, it's official, then?"

Their smiles answer for them.

Lou grins. "I'm so pleased for you. It's about time, you know. It's taken you ages to get together."

"Not for lack of trying on my behalf!" says James, indignantly, but he's quickly silenced by Lily's kiss.

"Oh, you're so perfect," says Lou warmly.

The three of them sit, chatting lazily, until they're interrupted by a squealing noise, just outside the Common Room.

James winces at the noise, and stares in horror as its perpetrator comes through the door.

It's Jess, making the noise. She's being carried through the portrait-hole over Sirius' shoulder, and she's screaming joyfully to be put down. He sets her feet on the floor with a dramatic flourish, and proceeds to press his lips against hers in the middle of the Common Room.

Lou becomes pale. "I'm going to the dormitory," she mutters.

"Lou -"

"- you don't have to -"

Lou smiles at James and Lily. "I know I don't. But I'm going to. I'm tired, I'd better get some sleep."

Breathing deeply, and reminding herself that she has no right to be angry, Lou makes her way up to the dormitory.

Sirius breaks his kiss with Jess, and watches Lou's back disappear up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Sirius and Jess are kissing again, in the middle of the Common Room, for all to see, when they're interrupted by a hand on Sirius' arm.

"Excuse me," says James, dragging Sirius away into a corner. Sirius asks James what's going on.

"What are you playing at?" mutters James, angrily.

Sirius resists the urge to laugh. This aspect of James - this aspect of growing up, he supposes - is not something he ever wishes to experience for himself. Three years ago, if someone had made James Potter angry, he would have shouted, and cursed them, or maybe forgotten his wand and got involved in a bit of physical fighting. Now, he's standing there, clenched teeth, clenched fists (and probably, Sirius thinks with a smirk, clenched _buttocks, _too).

Honestly, Sirius doesn't see the point of restraining anger. He grew up in a home of frayed tempers and furious outbursts, and however much he's attempted to distance himself from his family, he still has a penchant for dramatics and brutal honesty. It's an inheritance from which he is unable to separate himself - like his good looks, like the way he holds himself, and - unfortunately - _unlike _a rather large pile of gold.

"I don't know what your problem is," he says to James, calmly, and with supreme confidence.

"You're an idiot," James hisses. "What about Lou?"

"What about her?"

"She turned you down and now you're throwing yourself at the nearest girl?"

"She didn't turn me down."

"She told Lily."

Sirius' pale cheeks develop a pinkish hue. "Been gloating, has she?"

"Don't be stupid, she just told the truth. What's going on with you?"

"If she told the truth then you know perfectly well what's going on. I asked her out and she turned me down, which, I believe, makes me a free agent, at perfect liberty to date _whomsoever_ I please."

James smiles at his friend's phrasing - Sirius has a tendency to be sarcastically over-formal when he's angry - but then he frowns again. "If you want her to like you, you're going about it completely the wrong way."

"I don't want her to like me."

"Then why did you ask her out?"

Sirius sighs. "I _did _want her to like me, but she turned me down, so I've moved on."

"I never thought Sirius Black would be such a quitter."

"I should've known you'd be on her side. _Darling _Lou - you and her are always sticking up for each other, with your Quidditch and your jokes and your stupid bloody friendship!"

"Which of us are you more jealous of? Her for getting on with your best friend, or me for being friendly with the girl you like?"

"I'm not _jealous! _And I don't like her anymore."

"Of course not. Look, Sirius, you're one of my favourite people in the world, and you know I'll stick by you whatever you do, but I think you're being a bit blind here."

"What do you mean?"

"She likes you, Sirius -"

"- but -"

"- shut up, will you? I'm trying to tell you something."

"Sorry."

"She likes you. And it must have been really hard for her to say no to you, because she _does _like you, but she's too scared of losing someone, so she pushed you away. And she probably feels rubbish about it because she thinks it's the right thing to do but she still hates it and wishes she'd just said yes, and then you come waltzing into the Common Room with bloody Jess, and how do you think Lou feels? I bet it feels like a slap in the face, like you didn't even like her to start with. When you asked her out you put her in a horrible position, even if you didn't know that was what you were doing, and she did what she thought was best, and you're _rubbing it in her face._"

Sirius blinks, realising, for the first time, that James really is responsible and considerate and grown-up and knows what he's talking about. He should have realised it months or even years ago - there were plenty of opportunities - but this is what it takes for him to realise it: standing quietly in a corner with James, who's telling him a blatant truth that he realises he already knew but has been avoiding - Sirius' brutal honesty, it transpires, doesn't always apply to himself.

Sirius takes a deep breath and lowers his eyes. "Tell me what to do," he urges.

James' increasingly adult outlook is only just strong enough to prevent him from gloating at this moment - Sirius Black, wilfully, rebelliously, _notoriously _independent, is asking him for help - but he just about manages it.

"I can't tell you what to do," says James. "It's up to you. But if you want to be with Jess then go ahead - just be a bit more considerate - a bit more subtle. Tactful, maybe." He frowns a little, wondering if telling Sirius to be tactful is any more useful than telling Severus Snape to wash his hair. But Sirius seems to take something from the advice - well he seems calmer, anyway, and sort of resolute - so James considers it a job well done, and returns to Lily at the fireplace - warmth, companionship, and interesting conversation. Settling down cheerfully, he thinks that if he's never more comfortable than he is right now, then he's still had a rather brilliant life.

The next day, Louisa Reece saunters down to breakfast and puts everybody off their stride. Overnight, whilst most of her friends were determinedly deciding to try to help her forget Sirius, she was getting a good night's sleep, and she awoke, refreshed and cheerful, and ready to astonish her friends with a remarkable and most convincing impression of nonchalance. Her arrival at the breakfast table interrupts a rather heated debate between James and Peter (subject: 'Jam or Marmalade: Which is the True Companion of Toast?'), and an equally heated kissing session between Sirius and Jess. Lily, Remus, Mary and Kelly - who's tagging along in the wake of Jess' 'association' with Sirius - look relieved to see her.

"Morning, folks!" she says cheerily, sitting down and helping herself to cornflakes. "James, Lily, is the course of true love still running smooth? Sirius, Jess, you sly dogs, how long has this been going on? Mary, when did you last hear from the delectable Mr. Abbott? And Remus, Peter, Kelly, with all this romance in the air, do any of you have your eyes on any hapless young beauties?"

Not waiting for any answers, she pours milk on to her cornflakes and begins to tuck in with gusto. Several minutes later, having successfully wrong-footed all of her friends - surely the aim of any good breakfast - she gathers up her belongings and continues with her day.

Later, much later, she is sitting in the Common Room, trying to finish a Defence Against the Dark Arts essay. Giving it up as a bad job, she walks over to the sofa where Remus is, and sits next to him. He looks up from his book and smiles in greeting.

"Remus," she says, in a serious-sounding voice. "What's your opinion of slurping?"

"Erm…"

"Oh, good! Awkwardness! Awkwardness is fine."

"Have you gone insane?"

"Probably."

Remus returns to his book for a moment, before curiosity gets the better of him. "What are you talking about?"

Lou gestures around the room. "Everybody's involved in slurping-based activities, look -", James and Lily, shyly, "- slurping -", Sirius and Jess, with abandon, "- slurping -", Peter, talking hopefully, "- thinking about slurping -", to a worried-looking Kelly, "- desperately avoiding slurping -", and Mary, writing a letter, "- and writing about slurping." Lou sighs. "It's like a slurping revolution."

"And by 'slurping', you're referring to…any form of affection?"

Lou grins. "Yeah, why not?"

"Don't be miserable, Lou, it doesn't suit you."

"Don't be stupid, all emotions suit me." Lou pulls a ridiculous face, and they both laugh happily.

"Are you okay?" asks Remus.

"Yeah. Apart from that ridiculous Defence essay, and trying so hard to train up young Shacklebolt that my arm might actually fall off, life's going pretty well."

Remus raises an eyebrow. "Are you -"

"Quite sure, thank you!" Lou replies in clipped tones, making herself laugh.

"It's just, you seem very….upbeat."

Lou mirrors Remus' concerned face. "I see. I see how that must be a worry for you. I tried to keep this dreadful, terrible cheerfulness hidden, but it seems you've seen through it. Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry to worry you, to let you see me like this -"

"- shut up!" says Remus, interrupting the flow of a promisingly sarcastic speech. "I was just asking how you were, there's no need to take that attitude."

"Sorry, _dad. _Seriously, though, I'm fine. No need to worry."

"But -"

"Drop it, Remus. I'm happily sitting here, chatting with a good friend, and if I want your advice, I will ask for it, okay?"

"I suppose."

"Super! Now, are you going to change the subject, or shall I?"

"It's okay, I will. When's your first Quidditch match of the season?"

"Two weeks. Hufflepuff."

"Will Kingsley be ready, do you think?"

"Of course! I've never failed a challenge yet."

"What about -"

"_Never._"

They both laugh.

And so, the evening progresses cheerfully enough, culminating in a group conversation - once all slurping-based activities have been completed -, marred only by Sirius and Lou's attitudes to each other - cold, indifferent, and completely distant. The whole group are now witnesses to the way in which unsuccessful romantic feelings obliterate friendship, and it saddens them all, apart from Jess, who is oblivious to the conversation's subtext.

That night, when everybody has retired to their dormitories, Lily slips into Lou's cubicle. "You were brilliant, today," she says. "Some of the most defiant happiness I've seen in ages."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"What else is there?"

"You could speak to Sirius - it's not too late, I think he'd still want you."

"He's with Jess now. And even if he wasn't, I haven't changed my mind."

"Making yourself unhappy now, in order to prevent future unhappiness, is bad logic, Lou."

"Who says I'm unhappy?"

"But -"

"I'm fine, Lily. Tell James, tell everyone. Maybe then people will stop treating me like I'm some fragile little doll that's going to break. I'm a grown-up, and I've made a decision, and I'm perfectly happy about it. So let's all get on with our lives, okay?"

"You don't need to snap at _me_."

An apology and a forgiveness ensue, and Lily returns to her own cubicle. Lou lies in her bed, inwardly raging at Sirius Black and the difference he's brought about in her life - in her friendships, especially - and she falls asleep, slightly cheered by the knowledge that every day that passes brings her one day closer to a time when nobody remembers what has happened_._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

Time passes, as it tends to do, and the situation between Sirius and Lou calms down a little, and becomes accepted as the norm amongst their friends. They're cold towards each other, and don't speak to each other unless they have to. The silence between them has more of an effect on the group than they realise, though, and they spend less time all together than they recently did.

Lou finds herself in a jovial mood, one evening in mid-November. The main reason for this is that Gryffindor's first Quidditch match of the year was this afternoon, and Gryffindor won. The whole school saw - and laughed at - Lou's pointed glance in James' direction when Kingsley Shacklebolt's Bludger prevented the Hufflepuff Seeker from catching the Snitch.

There's also, of course, the celebration party in Gryffindor Tower, which would be enough to brighten anybody's day. The room is filled with alcohol, snacks and delighted teenagers. Muggle music is blaring from a record player in the corner. Lou stands at the food table, sipping from a glass of Elf-made wine, and absent-mindedly attempting to unwrap a mint humbug.

"Need some help with that?" asks a voice, and Lou looks up to see Sirius standing beside her. He's several inches away from her, despite the noise in the room which would, for most people, be an excuse to stand close together. Never has the air between two people seemed so solid. It's like there's a large, invisible balloon between them, keeping them at a safe distance.

"No, thanks," replies Lou, tearing the wrapper from the sweet with more force than is strictly necessary. "Where's Jess?"

"She's gone to bed."

"Why?"

"I think I bored her, I kept talking about Quidditch."

"You could have just changed the subject."

Sirius' eyes twinkle. "But then she wouldn't have left."

Lou laughs softly, and drains her glass. She wonders how she can get out of his presence without appearing rude.

"More wine?" asks Sirius.

Lou sighs, and holds out her glass to him. This is the most conversation they've had in weeks.

Several hours (and wines) later, and the Common Room has gone from heaving to almost empty (Lily and James, curled up on an armchair, dozing. Several younger members of the House, passed out on the floor. Sirius Black, leaning against a wall, drinking). Lou finds herself standing on a table, dancing happily.

But then, the music stops.

Lou continues to dance for several seconds before she realises it. "Who took the music?" she asks, confused.

"The record's finished," says Sirius.

"Put something else on! Put that song on, you know…the Stoning Rolls, or whatever they're called."

"_What_?"

Lou is dancing again. "You know! _I can't get no - do do dooo! - sa-tis-fac-shun_!"

Sirius laughs. "Shut up, you'll wake everyone up!"

"What are they doing _sleeping? _It's a _party!_"

"Actually, it stopped being a party about half an hour ago - since then it's just been a girl dancing on a table."

"And you've been _watching?_ Pervert._"_

"Someone had to make sure you didn't fall off and hurt yourself."

"_Oh, my knight in shining armour!" _Lou mocks.

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink," says Sirius, aware that he's drank almost as much as she has.

"I have _not! _I just know how to enjoy myself."

Sirius laughs. "Course you do. Now, are you getting down from there?"

Lou bends her legs, ready to jump.

"No!" says Sirius, choking back laughter. He walks over to the table she's standing on, and takes her hands. "Slowly," he says, holding her carefully as she slides off the table. When her feet reach the floor, they're standing far too close, and it's like the invisible balloon between them has deflated. They both try to ignore the way they seem to just fit together.

His hand reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Don't," she says, hesitantly breaking the silence.

He steps away, she sighs, and the balloon re-inflates.

The next day is a Saturday, and Lou stumbles into the Great Hall just in time for breakfast. She looks pale and tired.

James chuckles. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?" he asks.

Lou grins, helping herself to a large mug of tea. "Would have been better if _some people _knew how to hold their drink."

James smiles apologetically, and turns to Jess.

"Where did you get to last night?" he asks her.

"I went to bed," she says, pulling a face. "I was bored of all the Quidditch-talk."

James and Lou look at each other, with outraged expressions.

"_Bored?"_

"Of _Quidditch?_"

"But how is this _possible_?"

They all laugh, and Lou flinches. "Laugh quietly, please!" she says, inducing more, louder laughter. She groans and buries her head in her hands.

James flicks a cornflake at her head, and thus commences what shall always and forever be referred to as 'The Great Battle of the Cereal'.

The next week passes without incident - unless you count Sirius _finally _beating Remus at chess, but it is agreed by most that that most certainly does _not _count - until Friday evening finds Lily, James and Lou all sitting in front of the fire in the Common Room, chatting comfortably. Professor McGonagall walks into the room.

"Evening, Professor," smiles Lily, and their teacher approaches them.

"Good evening," says Professor McGonagall. "I'm just bringing round the list for people to sign, if they're staying for Christmas."

James reaches for the list, but Lily taps his hand out of the way softly. "Haven't I told you?" she says. "My parents want to meet you, they want you to come to our house for Christmas?"

"Really?" asks James, looking hopeful.

"Really."

"Really _really?"_

"Shut _up, _or I'll take back the invitation."

Lou rolls her eyes, and signs the sheet.

Professor McGonagall leaves them and walks over to some other Gryffindors.

"You're staying?" asks Lily.

"Of course I am. I'm not going home if I can help it."

"But you'll be on your own!"

Lou smiles. "I'll cope, James, but thank you for your concern. I'm actually looking forward to a couple of weeks of peace and quiet."

"But what about -"

"- honestly, I want to stay here alone. Don't worry about me."

Lily and James exchange glances, but say no more.

High-pitched giggles - a sound that's quickly becoming annoyingly familiar - precede the opening of the portrait, and the entrance of Sirius and Jess. Hand-in-hand, they walk over to where their friends are sitting. They squeeze themselves into one armchair.

"What's McGonagall doing in here?" asks Sirius.

"Bringing the sheet round, for people who're staying this Christmas."

Sirius stands up, knocking Jess unceremoniously from the chair, and runs over to Professor McGonagall. James raises an eyebrow as Sirius returns.

"You're staying here for Christmas? What about the flat?"

Sirius shrugs. "To tell you the truth, the flat's kind of miserable when I'm alone. And I reckon it'll be worse at Christmas. At least if I stay here there'll be good food, and some company, even if it is just teachers and people I don't know very well. Jess here is going to stay with Kelly, otherwise we'd do something together. But I'm actually quite looking forward to a bit of time alone."

James laughs. Lou glares at him.

"What's wrong?" asks Sirius.

Lou speaks before James has the chance. "I'm staying, too," she says. "Don't worry, I'll keep out of your way."

"It's okay," says Sirius, "You don't need to."

Jess glares at Lou, who determinedly ignores her, and the following overenthusiastic kiss shared between Jess and Sirius.

A little while later, everybody retires to their dormitories, and Jess enters Lou's cubicle, brandishing her wand.

"Hi," says Lou casually, noting uncomfortably that her own wand is on her bed, closer to Jess than to herself.

"Don't you _hi _me," hisses Jess. "You'd better keep away from Sirius this Christmas."

"Why? Is he contagious?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed how awkward you two have been around each other these past couple of weeks, always ignoring each other, and avoiding speaking to each other."

"You've seen these things, and deduced that you still need to warn me away from him," says Lou, thoughtfully. "Evidently you're not as stupid as you look." _You're MORE stupid! _screams her brain, but she resists the temptation to say it.

"When people ignore each other," says Jess, as if she's talking to an imbecile, "It's because they have a past…because there's _tension."_

"Wow, I always wondered why James and Snape avoided each other, I always thought it was because they _didn't _like each other, but now you've shown me the truth. What blinding insight you have. Poor James, poor Snape. Their forbidden love…what a sad story it makes."

"Shut up. This is about Sirius. Stay away from him. Or you'll have me to answer to."

"Right. Of course. I'm very…intimidated, and all that."

"Good! Well…goodnight."

Lou sighs, "Night, Jess," and the girl returns to her own cubicle.

Lou grabs a quill and a spare sheet of parchment, and writes furiously on it. "Lily!" she calls.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to say goodnight to James?"

"Yeah, I'm going now." Lily appears at the entrance to Lou's cubicle.

Lou lowers her voice. "Can you take a note to Sirius?"

"What? Why?"

"I just have a message for him, will you take it?"

"Of course I will."

"Thanks."

Lily, clad in pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers, leaves the dormitory, walks down the steps into the Common Room, and up the steps that lead to the boys' dormitories.

She knocks softly on the 7th-year dormitory door, and James opens it with a smile. He leans in for a kiss, but she pushes past him. "What -" he begins, but she shushes him, laughing. "I just have to give a message to Sirius, then I'm all yours."

"Why are you giving Sirius messages?"

"It's not from me."

James gives a questioning look, which Lily ignores. She makes her way over to Sirius' cubicle and pops her head round the curtain. He's lying in bed, facing away from her.

"Sirius?" she whispers, lighting her wand.

He rolls over and shields his eyes. "What?" he asks, confused.

"It's Lily, I've got a message for you, from Lou."

Sirius sits up, blinking his drowsy eyes. He picks up his own wand, mutters "_lumos!" _and takes the note from Lily, who smiles and leaves his cubicle.

Holding his wand to the ink-splattered parchment, he reads, in untidy, rushed handwriting:

_Keep your girlfriend away from me, or I'll attach her face to yours with a Permanent Sticking Charm, and then you'll HAVE to slurp at each other (and be in each other's company) for the rest of your lives._

Sirius throws back his head and laughs aloud.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

"D'you think I'll need my broom?"

"No."

"The Cloak?"

"Depends how much sneaking around you're planning on doing."

"The Map?"

"Are you planning on spying on me?"

"No. Right. Erm…Biting Tea-Cups? My Sneak-o-Scope? Exploding Snap Cards?"

Sirius puts down his _Daily Prophet, _and raises an eyebrow.

"James. Are you going to a 'See How Many Magical Objects a Person Can Fit in a Trunk' competition?"

"No," James answers in a dull tone.

"Where are you going?"

"To stay with my girlfriend's family."

"Who are…?"

"Muggles."

"And who live…?"

"In an area with a large population of Muggles."

"So it's probably best not to pack as if you're going to…?"

"A 'See How Many Magical Objects a Person Can Fit in a Trunk' competition."

Sirius smirks, his job done, and returns to his newspaper.

"I can't _help _it," James whines. "I'm _nervous._"

"_Stupid _is what you are."

James reaches for his wand, but before he can cast a spell, he's interrupted by Remus' voice. Remus is sitting on his bed beside his own neatly-packed case, wearing a mildly-amused expression.

"James. Take clothes. Take a bottle of wine for her parents, and take your Christmas presents. It's not that difficult."

James seems to be shaken awake by the sense of these comments. "Right. Clothes, wine, presents. Simple," he says to himself, and closes the curtains around his bed so that he can pack before he forgets.

"You shouldn't wind him up," says Remus, reproachfully. "Not when he's incapacitated with love."

"Seems to me like the best time to wind him up."

Remus fails to hide his grin.

A little while later, and after at least three scrupulous checks of James' case, the Gryffindor seventh-years gather in the Common Room to bid each other farewell.

Sirius and Lou stand together - but not too closely, as Jess notices with a satisfied smirk -, saying goodbye to their friends like proud parents watching their children step out into the big, wide world.

"Where have you left your presents for us?" asks Sirius, his eager face close to James', to emphasise his enthusiasm.

"I'm taking them with me, I'll post them to you," James replies, squeezing Sirius' face patronisingly. "I don't want you opening them before the special day!"

"So little trust," says Lou, mournfully.

"Where are yours?" asks James.

"In the dorm," Lou replies with a wicked grin. "I'll post them to you."

Laughter is followed by hugs all round. Lily gets to Lou last. "Try to have a nice time, won't you?"

"Of course I will. And you too - don't let James frighten your parents, though."

Lily laughs softly, and hugs Lou extra-tight.

"Come on, then," says Peter. "It's time for us to leave."

And they - and almost all of the other members of the House - trickle out of the room, leaving Sirius and Lou standing awkwardly beside the doorway.

A few moments later, Sirius is surprised to see Lou setting up her cauldron and Potions ingredients.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Potions practice. Antidotes!" replies Lou, and Sirius is thunderstruck to hear a note of glee in her voice.

"Is there something wrong with you?" he asks, tentatively, wondering if he should get Madam Pomfrey.

Lou laughs, tossing ingredients, seemingly at random, into her cauldron. "Of course not. I thought you knew I liked Potions?"

"There's a difference between liking a subject and happily spending your free time doing it."

Lou laughs again, gives the mixture a few stirs, and adds a sprinkle of something else. "It reminds me of my childhood," she says. "Dad wanted me to know about magic, but obviously he couldn't teach me anything that required a wand, it wasn't allowed. So he taught me other stuff - Potions and Astronomy and History of Magic, mostly. And I've loved all that stuff ever since."

"But nobody loves History."

"I do. I wanted to do it at N.E.W.T, but I couldn't fit it into my timetable."

"You're an odd one, and no mistake."

Lou looks up from her cauldron and smiles. "Of course I am. Fancy chopping up a Murtlap?"

Sirius takes the knife from her with a sigh and a secret smile.

Christmas morning finds them both sitting in front of the fire in the Common Room, each next to a small pile of presents. They smile shyly at each other and quickly set to work on opening them.

Sirius' first present is from Jess, and he looks at it in horror when he discovers that it's a t-shirt with her name on it, surrounded by little love-hearts. Lou laughs for a full five minutes before she can gather her composure enough to open her own presents. She's delighted to find a new subscription to _Quidditch Weekly _from James, 'The Bell Jar' from Lily, a packet of self-shuffling playing cards from Mary and an assortment of confectionary from Remus and Peter.

"Wait," says Sirius, "I've got something for you, too." And he produces a rectangular package from behind his armchair.

Lou opens it enthusiastically, to reveal a hardback, leather-bound edition of 'Nineteen Eighty-Four'. "Wow," she breathes, touching it reverently. Then she looks up at him. "But I've already got a copy. Not as fancy as this, but…"

Sirius raises a hand to stop her speech. "And where is that copy?"

"I lent it to James a couple of weeks - oh. What's he done to it?"

"Scribbled notes. A couple of torn pages."

Lou puts her hand to her heart, as if mourning a loved one. "Why?" she whispers.

"I'm not sure. Something about a conspiracy theory. You know what he's like when he gets enthusiastic about something…incoherent, foaming at the mouth. So I thought you should have a new one."

"And I've only got you a copy of the photo album that I did for everyone. I feel like such a cheapskate."

"I love it, though."

"No, you deserve more." Lou thinks for a moment, then leaps out of her seat. "Be right back," she calls, as she races up the stairs.

A minute later she's back again, wearing a triumphant expression, saying "One good turn deserves another", and dropping a pair of plain black boxer shorts from the end of her wand on to his lap.

"Why are you giving me pants?"

"They're already yours."

"Why do you have my pants?"

"_I _didn't. Jess has been sleeping with them under her pillow -"

"- she's my girlfriend -"

"- since _before you started going out._"

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed."

"That is a bit creepy. Won't she notice they're gone?"

"I replaced them," Lou pauses for dramatic effect. "With a pair of Peter's."

Sirius bursts out laughing and opens his one remaining present. When he sees the large box, his forehead wrinkles in thought.

"What is it?" asks Lou. Sirius turns the box so she can see the inscription. "Who's bought you pineapple?"

"James."

"Do you, er, like pineapple?"

"Not especially."

Lou raises an eyebrow. "That's odd."

"James and I always get each other odd presents."

"I see."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Lou nods her permission.

"Ever since first year, James and I have been buying weird presents for each other, and the idea is that we have to do something funny - a prank or something - involving those objects. Then we decide whose is the best and that person's the winner. We lose credibility if we get caught."

Recognition flits across Lou's face. "Ah. So…fifth year, the first day back after Christmas? When all those Slytherins' meals were replaced by various types of dung?"

Sirius smiles, remembering. "James won that year."

"What's the score?"

"Three all. This year's the decider and he's sent me _pineapple._"

"What did you send him?"

"A medium-sized tank of flobberworms."

They both chuckle. Lou gazes at the fire for a minute, then pipes up, "I'm going to ask you some questions. Answer them honestly and don't ask why, okay?"

Sirius nods.

"Right. That pineapple, how long will it keep?"

"Ages, it's crystallised."

"And it's split into several boxes, right?"

"Yeah."

"How good are you at forgery?"

"Brilliant, of course" says Sirius proudly.

A conspiratorial smile forms on Lou's face. "Wait right here," she says, before sprinting upstairs yet again.

When she returns, she's holding an envelope, upon which is scrawled, _Lily Evans, Gryffindor Tower._

"Can you forge that?" she asks eagerly. "Is it enough for you to be able to write anything in that handwriting?"

Sirius screws up his face in thought. "Probably. I could do a passable impression of it, anyway. Whose writing is it?"

"Snape's."

"_Snape's? _Why's _he _writing to _Lily_?"

"He's not. He _was, _they were friends until a couple of years ago. You _know _that."

"Okay. Right. I forgot. And how is forging his handwriting going to help me play a prank with a few boxes of pineapple?"

Lou smiles sanctimoniously. "_Dear Professor Slughorn," _she says in an admiring voice. "_I know you're a fan of crystallised pineapple, so I'm making this gift to you in appreciation of your years of hard work, dedication, and excellent teaching._"

Sirius is confused. "But won't that just make Slughorn nice to him?"

"At first, yes." Lou moves a little closer. "_Dear Professor Slughorn, what a joy it is to be taught by you! Tuesday is by far my favourite day of the week this year, I'm so glad to have double Potions!"_ She takes another step. "_Dear Professor Slughorn, I never thought a lesson at school could be so _exhilarating, _I just love watching you toiling over a hot cauldron." _Another step. "_Professor Slughorn, there are few things I'd rather see than you stirring a potion with the vigour you did today." _Lou's whispering in Sirius' ear now, he can feel her hot breath on his neck. _"Dear Professor Slughorn, I hope you're enjoying the pineapple. It makes me happy to think of you eating it…licking the sugar from your fingers. Professor Slughorn, how I dream of stroking your lustrous moustache, grasping your erotically rotund belly!" _Lou laughs, then composes herself. "_Yours longingly, Severus."_

"Oh," says Sirius. "_Oh._"

"You like it?"

"Its genius," Sirius laughs. "I'm bound to win this year!"

Lou grins, and lightly ruffles his hair. "Happy Christmas, Sirius."

"You too," he replies, hoping that their Christmas morning closeness will continue.

As the days pass, though, and New Year approaches, Lou becomes more and more withdrawn. It's a side to her that Sirius has never seen before. Even when things between them were less than cordial, she still seemed so vital, so alive. But now, she's quiet, pale, and spends as much of her time as she possibly can all alone.

Sirius wonders if he's done something to offend her, but she seems to be avoiding everybody, not just him. The only times he sees her, apart from meal times, where she quickly, silently eats before leaving, are when she trundles into the Common Room, bedraggled and soaked through, after practicing flying in the wind and rain. Every time he sees her in that state, he invites her to sit by the fire and get warm, but she always shrugs and goes to her dormitory.

She's becoming so difficult to find that he doesn't even get a chance to ask her to go to the New Year party he's been invited to in the Ravenclaw Common Room. So he heads to the party alone, trying to work out what could be bothering her.

Sirius finds himself spending much of the evening with an acquaintance of his, Dorcas Meadowes. She's a seventh-year Ravenclaw, with mousey hair and a friendly, expressive face. She's a prodigiously talented witch, but very easy-going with it, and Sirius spends a pleasant couple of hours in a corner of Ravenclaw Common Room with her, drinking Butterbeer and cheerfully mocking the party, everybody present, and quite a few people who aren't.

"You know my friend, Hestia?" she asks.

"Erm…Jones?" replies Sirius uncertainly, vaguely remembering a dark-haired girl from a couple of his classes.

"Yeah, that's the one. Do you think Remus'd go out with her?"

"Remus _Lupin?_"

"How many Remuses do you know?"

Sirius smiles. "Fair point. I've got no idea, though. He doesn't talk about stuff like that, I think he finds it a bit _improper._"

"Oh."

"Why? Does she like him?"

Dorcas sighs. "She never shuts up about him. She's my best friend but she doesn't half go on sometimes. I thought maybe you could have a word with him, push him in her direction?"

Sirius shakes his head. "Nah, I've given up on matchmaking, ever since James and Lily only got together when I _stopped _interfering."

"How's it going between them?"

"Perfectly, if you can stomach it."

Dorcas raises an eyebrow. "Stomach _what_?"

"The hand-holding, and the whispers, the giggles." Sirius sighs. "It's a nightmare, if you're allergic to romance, like I am."

"Does that girlfriend of yours know about your allergy?"

"I don't think it'd stop her if she did."

Dorcas laughs. "I don't think you're allergic to romance, anyway. _No-one _is. You just haven't found the right girl."

"And I don't intend to. You forget - I spend most of my life with James Potter, I know what a snivelling wreck a person becomes when they fall in love. No thank you!"

More laughter, and a comfortable silence ensues. It's only broken when Dorcas asks, "Isn't Lou Reece here for Christmas?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, why isn't she here?"

"I don't know," Sirius shrugs. "She's been in a weird mood, these past few days."

"I don't blame her," says Dorcas compassionately. "Wasn't it this time last year that her mum got killed?"

Sirius pales, overcome by the memory.

"_She died, didn't she? Death Eaters?"_

"_Yeah. New Year's Eve. She was alone and she was a Muggle, she didn't stand a chance."_

"Sirius? Are you okay?"

He hands his bottle to Dorcas, and starts to leave.

"Where are you going? It's not even midnight!" Through her concern, Dorcas allows herself a little smile. "Where's my New Year's kiss?" She pouts comically.

"Sorry," mutters Sirius, not smiling. "I have to go."

When he gets back to the Common Room, she's sat there on a sofa, wearing pyjamas. She's gazing into the embers of a dying fire.

"Lou?" says Sirius from the doorway, slowly moving toward her.

She turns her face to look at him, and he sees that it's wet with tears. He sits down next to her. "I'm sorry I forgot," he says, touching her arm. "You're freezing, come here." And he wraps his arms around her.

At his embrace, she begins to sob. He strokes her hair, trying to make comforting noises.

Crying doesn't suit her, and it makes her grief seem more real. Sirius' family aren't the crying types, and neither are his friends. The only people who ever cry in front of Sirius are usually girls he's just dumped. They sit or stand in front of him, staring reproachfully with their pretty, shining eyes, allowing a single tear to trickle down their cheek and, occasionally, he gives in.

Lou's face is red and blotchy, her lips slightly swollen, her eyes bloodshot. She's really, properly weeping, clinging blindly to him.

Sirius carefully manoeuvres them both so that they're lying down, his arms around her, her head on his chest. He can feel her hot tears soaking through his shirt. She wraps her arms around his waist.

After a while, her crying begins to lessen.

"Tell me about her," Sirius says.

Lou lifts her dark eyes up to his, as if checking that he's serious. He nods and she looks away again.

"My mum," she begins, "she was a Muggle. She was really clever, and she knew a lot about lots of different things, but when she was young she never really felt like she belonged anywhere. Her dad died when she was little, and her mum died when she was a teenager, so she was kind of all alone in the world. She travelled a lot, doing various jobs to pay her way. Then, one day, she decided to go to London."

Lou pauses, finding it difficult to carry on, but she takes a deep breath and manages to find her voice.

"She'd been there for a few days, when she met a man in a café. They became sort of…friends. He was fifteen years older than her, and he could be really secretive, but he was funny and he was kind and he obviously really liked her. They got closer and closer, and she became his girlfriend, and moved in with him. That was when he told her the truth. He was a wizard, and he worked at the Ministry of Magic."

Lou smiles.

"I think that was when she fell in love with him. When she realised that he wasn't just the strength and stability that she needed - he was the mystery and excitement she wanted, too. They got married a few months later, and he managed to get her a job at the Ministry."

"Doing what?"

"On the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee. She was the most junior person there, and the pay wasn't great, but she really enjoyed it. She got to be a part of the magical world, which was so exciting to her, and she got to be helpful, too - all her random knowledge came in useful when it came to thinking up plausible explanations for magical events, and the Committee really valued her input. Of course, there were some people, inside the Ministry and out, who thought it was awful, a Muggle working for the Ministry. They thought it was the beginning of the end for the magical community."

"That's stupid."

"_I_ know that. Anyway, time went on smoothly enough. She loved her husband, loved her job, everything was great. But then she started wanting a child. The problem was, having children was never a part of my dad's plan. He was a lot older than she was, and he was successful, and he had a wife he adored…he didn't need anything else. But he wanted her to be happy, so he agreed to try for a child, and a year or so later, I was born. She loved me. I made her life complete, and my dad tried to love me too. He taught me about magic, and he was nice to me, although it never came easy to him. The years passed, and Mum went up the ranks, until she was almost running the Committee. And then…"

Lou buries her head in Sirius' chest, and takes a few deep breaths, before turning away again to continue.

"Last New Year. I was at Lily's, and Mum and Dad were supposed to be having a nice quiet New Year together. But then Dad had to go into work. It's not unusual, he's pretty high up in the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, and he's always getting messages, asking him to go in and sort stuff out, so there was nothing unusual about that night, it was just inconvenient, so off he went. Not long after he'd left, the house was attacked by Death Eaters. It was easy enough to kill her," Lou says, her voice shaking a little. "She was a Muggle, she couldn't protect herself, and Dad hadn't thought to set up any protective enchantments."

"But why did they want to kill her?"

"Well, it's not like Death Eaters justify themselves to me, but I think it was for two reasons. The first is that she was a Muggle - not just a Muggle, but a Muggle who knew about magic, and was accepted by the magical community - she even worked for the magical authorities. Obviously, that goes completely against their aspirations for the world. And the second reason was to get at Dad. I think they thought that if they killed his wife he'd be easier to manipulate - grief-stricken, and scared they'd go for him or me next. If he'd joined them, he could provide them with valuable information on the Ministry."

"Did he join them?"

"I don't think so, but I haven't seen him for months."

There's silence, and Sirius wipes his face on his sleeve. "Thanks for telling me all this."

"You asked," Lou replies simply.

"Do you think you'll ever make up with your dad?"

"I don't know. It's just too painful at the minute, and without Mum…we don't really have anything to hold us together, so I suppose I'm pretty much without family."

"Me too," whispers Sirius. "You've got your friends, though," he says, a little more loudly. "We both have."

"I know. I'm glad of that." She absent-mindedly rubs his side with her thumb, and he holds her closer to him, breathing in the scent of her hair.

He places a small, chaste kiss on her scalp, and they fall asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

New Year's Day. Lou's not sure, but instinct tells her that she's not the only person waking up somewhere unexpected. They're probably all doing it, she thinks to herself (or will be - it's only seven in the morning, after all) - waking up in someone else's bed, or curled up on a bathroom floor, or naked in a field. It's fine. It's _what people do._

Instinct also tells her that there are worse places to wake up - in fact, it's probably quite high up on the hypothetical 'Heavenly Places to Wake Up' list of every girl at Hogwarts - than on a sofa in the Common Room, wrapped in the warm and comfortable arms of a rather dishevelled-looking Sirius Black.

_Shit._

Of course, 'warm', 'comfortable' and 'dishevelled' are _not _words that should be crossing her mind, so - after first unconsciously snuggling closer to him, then freezing after realising exactly what she's doing - she replaces those words in her mind with a string of expletives.

She disentangles from his arms carefully (watching his face to check she's not waking him, trying to ignore the shadows cast by dark eyelashes on pale skin, and the deep, inaudible mumble that escapes his lips).

She moves to the other end of the sofa and sits on its arm, placing her feet on either side of his, before reconsidering and squeezing them both to the right. She wraps her arms around her knees, and groans. She's looking at her own knees, not his face, so she doesn't see the way he starts to frown when he wakes up.

The first thing Sirius notices is the absence of her. His side's still warm from where she was lying, and he has a dull ache somewhere in the region of where her head spent most of the night. He looks up and sees her sitting at the end of the sofa, still groaning.

"Are you _mooing _at me?" he asks curiously, startling her so much that she nearly falls from her perch.

"Yes," she says defiantly, still not looking at him, and starts to make the noise again.

He half-sits, yawns uncontrollably, and simply stares at her. She looks younger than he's ever seen her. He knows it's only because she's just woken up, but he can't help feeling like it's something more symbolic than that. Like it's not simply the start of a new day, or even a new year. Rather, that it's the start of some new period in her life - and his, too. He wonders if she senses it too, and that's why she's still groaning.

"Are you okay?" he asks, because somehow, overnight, he's become the kind of person who waits for concern to be allayed before amusement sets in. He feels a little smug, and starts using words like 'gentleman' in his head, but then she looks up, and their eyes meet, and he winces, realising that "are you okay?" is a ridiculously inadequate question to ask someone who spent a good deal of the previous night crying about their dead mother.

"I'm sorry," he says, in a small voice.

"It's fine."

He sits up properly, holding out his arms to her, wanting her to collapse back into them and remove the hollow ache that's making it difficult for him to breathe. But she flinches, holding her knees closer to her chest, because somehow, in the night, everything got reshuffled, and _touching _is so much closer to _loving _than it ever was.

She looks him in the eye, trying to communicate an apology. She wonders if she can hate him for this, hate him for being nice to her, for seeming to care about her. Hate him for the fact he's still beautiful - there's no other word for it - at seven o'clock in the morning on New Year's Day, when he's still bleary-eyed, and his hair's tousled, and he's wearing a rumpled shirt and an expression of confused concern. But what she really hates is the way she's let herself be in a position to see this - the way that she's trying to keep a safe distance from him but she knows what he looks like when he's only half-awake, and she knows how his voice sounds when he cares and, worst of all, she knows that his arms fit perfectly around her, and the way his chest feels as it gently rises and falls when he sleeps. She's angry at the betrayal of her own body, which hasn't felt safe since it ceased contact with his (but she's angry at her mind, too, for being too loud, too rational. For having too much control over her actions, and for knowing that that feeling of safety is the most dangerous feeling of all).

She sighs, tired and confused by her conflicting thoughts.

"Lou," he says, and his voice shakes - from tiredness, from worry, from the desperate desire to be near her. "Don't feel weird about this. I've had such a nice Christmas, and that's mostly down to you, and I want to be your friend," and he pauses, and his heart feels like it's breaking in protest against such a mild description of his longing for her, but he carries on, because it's what she needs. "If you want to talk, about your mum, or about anything, you can talk to me."

He wants to reach out, he wants to touch her, to prove to himself that she's real. She seems blurry around the edges, and he's not sure if it's just because she's just woken up, and her face is still sleepy and her hair needs brushing, or if it's because she seems so vulnerable at the minute, or if it's because - horror of horrors! - his compassion and love and _need _for her are gathering in his eyes in the form of warm, salty tears. But he remembers the look on her face when he held his arms out to her, and he resists the urge to touch her. He desperately searches his mind for something to say or do that will make her feel better, and he picks the first new thing he finds.

"It's not fair, that you should lose your mum, when you loved her so much, but that mine's so relentlessly alive."

Not for the first time in his life, Sirius curses the fact that the first thing he thinks of is so often the worst possible option. Lou looks up at him.

"Perhaps you should pretend you love her, then she'll be dead and buried in no time," she replies dryly.

Sirius' heart sinks. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"- it's fine." And she's looking at him, and smiling, and it might be a little bit weak at the sides, but it seems genuine enough, and he can see her little pointy teeth, and he sighs, thinking that perhaps in this case the first thing he thought of wasn't _too _disastrous.

She stands up, and the air feels thick with things he could say to make her stay, to make her lie in his arms again and never go away, but he can't grasp them, and he knows he sounds desperate and needy when he asks, "Where are you going?"

She shrugs. "For a shower, and then maybe a nap."

"Will you be at lunch?"

"Probably."

When Lou reaches the bottom of the stairs, she turns back to him, her face full of sadness and regret. "I'm sorry," she says, softly, and he nods, but he doesn't know if she's apologising for getting close to him or for leaving.

He curls himself around his knees, groans loudly, and smiles to himself when he hears her laughing in the stairway.

As the days pass, the distance between them shifts once again, and the time they spend together is full of careful, stilted conversation, and so much eye contact, trying to convey things they don't feel comfortable saying, that both of them are regularly visited by the urge to curl up in corners and moo.

When their friends return from their Christmas holidays, rosy-cheeked from the cold outside and full of anecdotes and gossip, both Sirius and Lou find themselves longing to have all that time to themselves again. They love their friends, but there was something indescribably peaceful about their holidays, and it's something they can't help but miss.

Worst of all is the return of Jess.

Jess, Sirius reasons to himself, is a nice girl. She's pretty and a decent kisser and clearly dedicated to him. These are all the things that Sirius Black has ever wanted in a girlfriend, so he's shocked to realise that he's so irritated in her presence.

The day after the end of the holidays, the entire population of Hogwarts is delighted to wake to find the grounds hidden under a thick covering of snow. That afternoon, Sirius sits on a blanket under a tree with Jess, watching the rest of the Gryffindor seventh-years (apart from Kelly, who's sitting chatting with a group of Hufflepuffs) take part in an exhilarating snowball fight, boys against girls (the girls win. Lily is fast, Mary is sneaky, and Lou has a Beater's strength, precision and uncanny knack of always being in the best position to strike unexpectedly. On the other side, whilst James is quite good, Peter's aim is erratic and Remus seems unwilling to throw things at girls). And Sirius sits there, with Jess straddling his lap and kissing his neck, watching over her shoulder as all of his friends laugh and tease and run around. He's almost shaking with annoyance, and it feels ridiculous, and blown out of proportion - _so what? _he asks himself. It's a snowball fight! What kind of boy would rather throw snow at people than sit and be kissed by a pretty girl?

He probes his feelings, wondering if he'd mind missing out on all the fun if it was Lou who was kissing him, but it's not a scenario he can realistically imagine (even if they were in a relationship, she'd still want to be involved in the fight, she'd still want to spend time with her friends, and she'd probably take great delight in throwing snow in his face). He sighs.

"You okay?" Jess asks, but then she's kissing him again, so even if what was bothering him was something he could talk to her about, he wouldn't be able to tell her, and she wouldn't want to listen. Sirius realises with a shock that he's in danger of turning into James ("Of course Lily's gorgeous, but it's not _just _that. She's funny and interesting and clever and fun to be around…"), and he tries to return Jess' kisses a little more enthusiastically.

A little while later, when the boys have been appropriately taunted for their poor snowball display, Sirius and James sit down to talk over a half-hearted game of Gobstones.

"Thanks for the flobberworms," says James with a grin.

"What did you do with them?"

"Tormented Lily's brother-in-law. Flobberworms in his bed, in his soup, all over the place. Then I Vanished them whenever anyone else looked in that direction."

Sirius chuckles. "Didn't Lily mind?"

"I think she enjoyed it. He's not exactly her favourite person."

"And did you get found out?"

"He was pretty sure I had something to do with it, but he had no proof. And Mr. and Mrs. Evans just thought he was being ridiculous. I don't think they like Vernon much - well, who would? He looks like a pig. They like me, though. I heard them talking, they think I'm a _very nice young man._"

Sirius pretends to choke in shock. "I bet that idea doesn't last long."

"Shut up, you. What did you do with the pineapple, anyway?"

"It's kind of…a work-in-progress."

James grins. "You couldn't think of anything to do with it, could you? Never mind. You put up a brave fight, but I'm afraid it looks like I've won this year's challenge."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. Just you wait. We had an _excellent _idea."

James raises an eyebrow. "_We?_"

"Yeah. Why did you never tell me that Lou's a pranking genius?"

"I never knew."

Sirius' face is annoyingly smug, and James decides to change the subject. "How was Christmas at this end, anyway?"

"Fine. You know, quiet but fine."

"And New Year?" The question is aimed at Sirius, but James' voice is lowered and his eyes are on Lou, who's sitting just a few metres away, laughing at something Remus is saying over a game of chess.

"It was fine."

"For everyone?"

"As far as I know. There was an appalling party in the Ravenclaw Common Room, dullest party I've ever been too. Dorcas was there, though, she's always good for a laugh."

"Yeah, but what about -"

"And you'll _never _guess what she told me."

James shouldn't abandon his quest to find out how Lou's New Year was. He really shouldn't. But gossip is gossip and anything that makes Sirius' eyes shine like that _has _to be worth knowing. He sighs. "Go on then, this had better be good."

"Oh, it _is._ You know Hestia Jones…?"

Seconds later, laughter rings through the Common Room, and the rest of the students of Gryffindor look wistfully - and with no small amount of confusion - at the corner by the fire, where two dark-haired boys laugh hysterically and uncontrollably for rather longer than is necessary, until they're both sitting on the floor, out of breath and wiping their eyes on their sleeves. They seem to burst into fresh guffaws every time they look at Remus Lupin, who's forced to mutter to Lou, "Have I got something on my face?"

Lou replies in the negative, casts a Silencing Charm over James and Sirius, and returns her glance to the chess board.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

The following week, Sirius is sitting in the Common Room with his arm around Jess' shoulders, bored. It's a Friday afternoon, and there's hardly anyone around. He sees Peter slouching across the room toward the portrait hole.

"Pete, where are you off to?" he calls, and Peter walks over to him, seemingly relieved to meet a distraction.

"Library," he groans. "I asked Remus to help me with that Charms homework, and he said he wasn't going to do it for me, but that I could join that study group that he always goes to with Mary and Lily. Don't suppose you fancy tagging along, do you?"

Sirius looks horrified. "Erm, no thanks…I've got other stuff to do."

Peter raises an eyebrow and leaves the room.

Next, James comes hurtling down the stairs from the dormitory into the Common Room. "James," says Sirius, "Please tell me you're doing something interesting."

James looks down at his Quidditch robes and the broom under his arm. "Quidditch practice," he says, wondering why Sirius doesn't seem able to use his eyes, or mind, or both. "You can come and watch if you want - both of you, I mean," he adds, glancing in Jess' direction but not failing to see the rolling of Sirius' eyes.

"Cheers," says Sirius.

Jess sighs. "Do we have to?"

"Of course we don't, but it'll be good for us - fresh air, change of scenery….whooshing," Sirius trails off.

"Alright then," says Jess, clearly not happy.

"Hurry up if you're coming," says James. "I'm late already."

A few minutes later, Jess and Sirius are making their way to seats in the stands whilst James is standing on the pitch, holding the case of practice balls and surrounded by his team.

"Right, I thought we'd start with a quick practice match, three against three, okay? Anna, you can ref -" Anna nods nervously, knowing that this is preparation for her future Captaincy, "- and Lou and I'll be the captains. We'll use the Quaffle and both Bludgers. Two Chasers and a Beater on each team - Andy, do you mind Chasing just for this part of the practice?" Their bulky third-year Keeper agrees easily. "Right, I'll have Kingsley, obviously, so there's a Beater on each team. Lou, choose a team member."

"Jenna."

"I'll have Andy."

"Looks like you're mine, then, Mark."

The team splits into two threes, and Anna deftly catches the whistle that James throws at her. James and Lou stand on either side of her. "Right, I'm going to release the Bludgers first," says Anna.

"Oh!" says James. "Beaters, the practice Bludgers aren't in the best condition, some of the enchantments on them are wearing off, so they might not do exactly what you expect. So be careful, okay?"

Kingsley nods his agreement and takes off, joining the rest of the players in hovering, waiting for the practice game to start. Lou leans forward, winks, and mutters to James, "It strikes me _you're _the ones who'll have to be careful."

"Careful not to demolish your team?"

"Careful you don't get hurt. _Accidentally, _of course." Lou tosses her bat into the air and catches it by the handle. "I'm very dangerous."

"Thanks for the warning. I'll bear it in mind when -"

"That's enough," says Anna, with a barely-concealed laugh. "Captains, shake hands."

They do so (James not-so-discreetly shakes his hand, in an attempt to return feeling to it), they take off, and the balls are released.

It's a good training exercise, Sirius thinks as he watches from the stands, nodding occasionally to suggest to Jess that he's listening to her. James and Lou fly superbly, as expected, and the younger players seem to be improving as every minute passes. He lets his eyes focus on Lou for a moment - flying in a seemingly haphazard fashion, but always seeming to be in the right place to hit a Bludger ferociously - then he tears his eyes away, forcing himself to look at Jess, to listen to her.

It begins to rain lightly.

Up in the air, Lou is thinking hard. Andy is flying with the Quaffle, but she knows that, as a Keeper, he won't have the confidence to shoot. He'll pass to James, who will score - unless he's prevented. Lou flies quickly - just behind and above Andy, so he won't be able to guess her plans and change his own accordingly. She speeds up slightly, keeping an eye on both Bludgers, predicting when one will be within her range. She lifts up her bat, waits for Andy to release the Quaffle, and hits the Bludger with an almighty WHACK, watching it speeding in James' direction.

James Potter is a skilful Chaser, and he hasn't been a friend and team-mate of Louisa Reece for several years without learning something of the ways of Beaters. But it's not skill or inside knowledge that help him this time - it's pure luck. Reaching out his hand to catch the Quaffle, he sees something round and black moving quickly in his direction. Instinct says _move!, _and before he can consciously weigh his options, he's dropped ten feet and both the Quaffle and the Bludger have gone sailing over his head.

"Fast, but not fast enough!" he calls to Lou with a grin, and he's about to swerve to claim the Quaffle when he hears a bloodcurdling scream from the stands. He turns, and sees that Sirius is the person screaming, holding his hand to his chest.

Before James can move, he's passed by Lou, who's flying at full-speed towards the stand, taking her wand from inside her robes. He follows her, seeing her immobilise the Bludger (the spell which kept it within the boundaries of the pitch must have failed, he thinks), then, as he lands, he sees Lou turn her wand on Sirius and shout "_Stupefy!_"

Sirius goes limp immediately, and the air feels empty in the absence of his screams. But not for long, as it's soon filled with Jess' panicking yells. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT, YOU MAD BITCH?" she shouts.

"James, keep her out of the way, will you?" says Lou quietly, quickly unbuttoning Sirius' shirt and running her hands down his sides. James stands between them and Jess, and he puts his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, it's okay," he says.

"Okay? _Okay?" _she says angrily. "She attacked him with a Bludger, and then she Stunned him, and now you're letting her make the injuries worse, she's trying to kill him!"

Lou's eyes blur, and she wipes them roughly before turning around. "Jess, if you don't shut up _right now, _I'm going to have to put a Silencing Charm on you, okay?" she snarls. "I can't concentrate when you're whining like that."

Jess is about to protest, but James grabs her arm and leads her to some seats a little further along the stand. "Lou knows what she's doing," he says. "But shouting at her is only going to make things worse." He looks up, then calls over to Lou. "What's the damage?"

"Broke a couple of ribs," she says, pointing her wand at a spot on his right side, and muttering quietly.

Minutes pass, and Jess is getting more and more agitated, when Lou looks up and gestures to her, James and the rest of the now-gathered Quidditch team. As they all walk over to where she's sat, she revives Sirius.

Sirius wakes up totally confused. He's sitting in the Quidditch stand, surrounded by the Gryffindor team and his girlfriend. His shirt is undone and Lou's cold fingers are gently pressing on his chest.

"Erm, what?" he says. "What happened?"

"I hit you with a Bludger and broke your ribs," says Lou, avoiding his eyes. "You screamed -"

"- like a girl -"

"- shut _up, _James. Then I Stunned you - quickest thing I could do to stop you from hurting - and I _think _I've done a reasonable job of fixing the ribs." She looks up at him, finally. "Does it hurt?"

He shakes his head.

"Good, but you'd better go to the Hospital Wing anyway, just in case."

"I feel fine."

"Madam Pomfrey will _kill _me if she finds out I healed broken ribs and didn't even send you to her to make sure I'd done it right."

"Alright," says Sirius, buttoning up his shirt. "I'll go now."

"I'll take you," says Jess, barging past Lou and helping Sirius to his feet. They walk off together.

"I should go with them," says Lou. "Apologise."

"There's no point now," says James reasonably. "Pomfrey'll be checking him over, then he'll probably be talking to Jess. You might as well finish practice and go then."

Lou agrees reluctantly, and picks up her broom.

Sirius and Jess walk up to the school, and Jess mutters the whole way about what a liability Lou is, and how dangerous and aggressive today has proven her to be.

When they reach the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey doesn't seem pleased to see them. "What is it now?" she asks, glaring at Sirius. "More unexplained injuries? More ridiculous, unbelievable excuses?"

"Erm, no," he says uncomfortably. "I got hit by a Bludger. It broke my ribs."

Madam Pomfrey looks at him uncertainly. "You don't look like you're in any pain."

"That's because one of the players, she kind of…fixed me."

"Ah," the matron nods. "That'll be Miss Reece, will it?"

"Yeah. She said to come and get you to check me out."

She leads him into a cubicle, after asking Jess to wait outside. Sirius sits on the bed.

"Does Lou often heal people?" he asks, trying to sound indifferent.

"Oh, yes, she has it in her to be an excellent Healer. These days, if Gryffindor are involved, all the Quidditch injuries I see are at least partly healed. Take your shirt off."

Sirius obeys and allows himself to be examined.

"She's done a very good job here," says Madam Pomfrey. "However, I would like to keep you here overnight. Ribs are a tricky business, and it's not easy to tell if all of the damage has been cured."

"But -"

"- no buts, Mr. Black! I'll get some pyjamas for you, and you can have a nice relaxing evening. You can go back to your House after breakfast tomorrow. Now, would you like me to send in your young lady-friend?"

Sirius nods.

An hour or so later, he's lying in his bed, dozing lightly, when he hears the matron's voice.

"Ah, Miss Reece! Come to check on the patient?…He's in the first cubicle on the left."

Footsteps, and then Lou appears in the corner of the cubicle, just inside the curtains. She's still wearing her Quidditch robes, and her hair is damp and tousled.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asks.

He shakes his head. "Want to sit down?"

"No chairs."

Sirius pats the bed beside him. "I won't bite."

She perches lightly on the edge of the bed. "How are you?"

"Fine. Just staying here for the night for observation. Pomfrey says you're good."

Lou reddens. "I'm sorry, about hurting you."

"Don't worry about it - you fixed me too, so we're even. Is Healing your thing? Something you want to do as a career?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"You never asked."

They fall into silence. A few seconds later, Lou asks, "Where's Jess?"

"She left ages ago. I dumped her."

Lou's eyes shoot up to meet his. "Why?"

Sirius shrugs, half-smiling. "She's no good in a crisis."

"Are you planning on having many crises?"

"I don't _plan _them, they just _happen._"

They laugh awkwardly.

"But really," she presses, "Why?"

"Because I'm not in love with her."

"But -"

"I know it's never stopped me before, but I've never been in love with someone else before." He touches her hand. "I really like you, Lou. And it doesn't matter if you don't want to be with me - it's fine, it's your choice - but it really wasn't fair on anyone for me to be going out with someone who could never make me happy purely because she wasn't you."

Lou looks shocked, but quickly gathers her wits.

"It doesn't matter if I don't want to be with you? So, you don't mind? You're happy without me?" There's a teasing tone to her voice.

"Of course I mind," Sirius replies tersely. "But it's not like I'm going to _force _you to be with me or anything."

"What if I changed my mind?"

"Have you?"

She squeezes his hand with both of hers. "I think so."

She knows he's going to ask for an explanation, so she gives it without being prompted.

"I didn't want to be with you because I didn't want to care, I didn't want to get hurt. And then I went and _broke your ribs, _and I realised, I do care. I can keep myself away from you, but I can't stop myself from wanting you, from wanting you to be happy and safe. And, if you have to leave me - if you have to get hurt, or die, or whatever - I'd rather it happened when I had memories of being with you, of us being happy together - rather than all my memories being of turning you down and trying not to like you."

Sirius doesn't speak. He's staring at her, eyes wide, as if he can't believe her.

"But, I mean," she says, "If you don't like me anymore, that's fine, I mean…whatever you want."

He still doesn't speak.

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, say something or I'm just going to have to kiss you."

He grins, and remains determinedly silent. She leans forward, smiles slightly, and presses her lips briefly to his. It's a quick kiss, and when she pulls away, he leans toward her. "More," he mutters.

"Don't you want to talk about this?" she asks, touching his face and smiling.

"I like you," he says. "You like me. You broke my ribs. I dumped my girlfriend. You kissed me. I know it's probably not on anyone's list of the best ways to start a relationship - I'm in a hospital bed, wearing ridiculous pyjamas, and you're in Quidditch robes and your hair's a mess and you smell like rain - which is actually quite nice, by the way - and there aren't any stars or fireworks or flowers or anything, but the really brilliant thing is that you _kissed_ me, which is the best thing that's happened to me in years, probably, and then you asked if I wanted to talk about it and that's when it started to get a bit weird, because I'm…delirious, I suppose, and rambling, and -"

He looks up. Grey eyes meet brown and they both smile.

"I think what I'm really trying to say is: normally I like talking, I love it, but you've made the talking part of my brain go a bit funny, so I'd like it if we could just please get back to the kissing, and try to sort out the talking-thing later, or tomorrow…"

"If I kiss you again, will you shut up?"

"Definitely," he says.

So she does.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

The following day, when Sirius Black returns from his night in the Hospital Wing, and interrupts Gryffindor Tower's Saturday Morning Post-Breakfast Lounging by sitting down very close to Louisa Reece, putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing her full on the mouth, the act is greeted by silence from the whole room.

Sirius looks at Lou, who has her eyes closed and is wearing a pained expression.

"You didn't tell anyone, did you?" he asks.

She shakes her head, eyes still closed. "I thought we could tell them together."

"Right. Well…I think we just did."

Lou buries her head in his shoulder, and mutters so that only he can hear. "This is mortifying."

"I know." He stares at the ceiling, determinedly avoiding eye contact with anyone.

"They're still not speaking. Why is no-one speaking?"

"I don't know. They're just staring."

"Sirius, don't expect me to be the kind of person who's always asking this of you, but please could you be my knight in shining armour and just _say something _to make them get on with their days?"

Sirius takes a deep breath and lowers his gaze to pan across the Common Room, where most of Gryffindor is sitting agog. "Yes," he says, loudly and clearly. "Lou and I are together. As of last night. Yes, very happy thank you. Feel free to discuss."

The gossip starts as a mere murmur, but soon grows into loud, distracted conversations, and Lou removes her head from Sirius' shoulder and smiles. "Thank you," she says, kissing him softly.

They glance across to the sofa opposite them, where James and Lily are sitting, staring and not speaking. James clears his throat.

"Lou, let's go to the library."

"What? Why?"

"Remus is there. We should tell him about this…development."

Lou looks at him doubtfully, before sighing and disentangling herself from Sirius. "Alright, then," she says.

"Might as well bring your Potions notes," adds James as an afterthought.

Lou laughs and swears at him.

When they've gone, Lily gets up and sits next to Sirius.

"I'm going to tell you what I told you before: hurt her, and I'll hurt you a hundred times more."

Sirius rolls his eyes.

"Because she's my best friend, Sirius, and if you're just messing her around, I'll -"

"- Shut up, _please. _Bloody hell, Lily."

She looks at him, dumbstruck.

"Do you know who James' best friend is?"

"Well, you, I suppose."

"And have you never wondered why I don't interfere in your relationship with him?"

"Because I don't have a reputation for breaking hearts?"

"You have a reputation for breaking _his _heart, which is surely all the more reason to be cautious."

"Then why?" Lily challenges. "Do you just not care?"

"James is one of my favourite people in the world. And I don't interfere in his relationships because he would resent me for it, and because I think he should be free to make his own decisions. If you make him happy, great. If you mess it up and make him miserable and it finishes then I will be there for him, and probably spend the rest of my life hexing you. But it's none of my business to try to talk him out of his relationship with you - however doomed I may or may not think it is - nor is it any of my business to try to frighten you away from him. Please show _your _best friend the same respect."

Sirius stands up and walks away, without looking back, and Lily sits there, with grudging respect.

Lou and James are walking to the library in silence.

"Spit it out," she sighs.

"What?"

"Whatever it is you want to say."

"Are you happy with him?"

"We got together last night," Lou replies. "He hasn't had a chance to make me unhappy yet."

"You deserve each other, you know."

"Why does that sound like an insult?"

James grabs her hand and they stand in the hallway, looking at each other. "It wasn't meant as one. Come here."

And they hug, and Lou feels like she and Sirius have at least one person's approval.

That evening, Sirius and Lou go for a walk around the school. Sick of being stared at by the people in the Gryffindor Common Room, they want some time to themselves, and find themselves strolling, hand in hand, along the Charms corridor.

"They'll stop staring soon," says Sirius, confidently.

"Jess won't."

"Don't worry about her, she'll get over it."

And Sirius pulls her close to him, and they share a slow, relaxed kiss.

"I thought you had better taste," says a voice.

They turn around, and see Sirius' younger brother, Regulus Black. He looks like a distorted version of Sirius - shorter, skinnier, with more pinched-looking features, and the crest on his robes is green, not red. He's pointing his wand at them.

Lou puts a calming hand on Sirius' arm. "And I thought you had better manners," she says, casually. "How memory deceives."

Regulus moves his wand, but before he can cast a spell, he's been Disarmed by Sirius. Lou catches the wand deftly. "If you walk away, I'll give you your wand," she says.

"You've got no right to tell me what to do, you half-blood freak," he spits.

Sirius makes a growling noise in the back of his throat, but Lou's hand keeps him calm.

"Funny," she says, slipping his wand into her pocket. "That's not what you said at Slughorn's Hallowe'en party. You were _nice _to me then, I thought you _liked _me." She pouts, as if she's disappointed. "Are you jealous that I prefer your brother?"

"Shut up!" says Regulus, pink spots appearing on his pale cheeks. "You really don't know when to just shut up, do you? I bet your mother was the same, I bet that's why she got killed, because she didn't know her place, and she just didn't -"

There's a large BANG, and Regulus is on the floor, his nose bleeding, the shadow of a bruise forming on his face. Sirius looks down at his wand. "I didn't mean to -"

"- someone will have heard," says Lou. "Get out of here, go back to the Common Room."

"Come with me."

"I'll be along in a minute."

They have a staring contest, which Lou wins, and Sirius slouches off down the corridor, looking mutinous.

Lou kneels beside Regulus and holds her wand up to his face.

"What are you doing?" he asks, genuine fear in his eyes.

"I'm going to fix you. It'll only take a minute." He relaxes a little, and she begins to heal his face.

"You don't have to act like this," she says casually, as if discussing the weather. "Whoever you're trying to impress - if they really care about you then they won't mind if you don't do what they say. And if they don't care about you, well, they're not worth impressing anyway, are they?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," she soothes. "Just a piece of general advice, though. The only way to be happy is to say and do the things that feel right to you. Or, at the very least, don't say and do the things that your heart screams at you not to."

"You're talking nonsense."

"Sometimes nonsense is worth remembering. Your face is fixed now, by the way." She stands up and holds out her hand. He takes it, and she helps him up. "Don't be frightened of changing your mind," she says. "If you want help, just ask for it." She puts his wand into his hand.

"What's going on here?" says a gruff voice, and they turn to see the caretaker walking towards them. "Mrs. Norris heard a commotion."

"Not here, Mr. Filch," says Lou brightly. "Regulus and I were just taking a stroll, weren't we?"

Regulus nods.

"Right," says Filch. "Carry on, then. But if any mischief happens in this area, I'll know who to blame."

Lou smiles politely, and walks away.

"You _healed _my brother?"

Sirius isn't pleased. He's waited until the Common Room is empty to express his displeasure, and now he's pacing angrily in front of where Lou's sat.

"He _deserves _to have a broken face, after what he said to you. I can't believe you helped him, what were you playing at?"

Lou shrugs. "I wanted to speak to him."

Sirius is immediately suspicious. "What about?"

"I wanted to offer a helping hand…get him out of whatever he's getting involved in. I don't like that crowd he hangs around with."

"It's his own fault for hanging around with them."

Lou is unapologetic. "I just wanted to let him know that it wasn't his only option."

"He's weak."

"Yes."

"He's an idiot."

"Yes."

"Then why -"

Lou sighs. "Being a weak idiot doesn't mean he doesn't deserve help. It doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a second chance. Your brother might be evil. He might grow up to be a murderer and Dark Wizard more notorious than any other, but if there's even half a chance that he's acting like an idiot because he feels like he has to, then we need to make sure that he _doesn't _feel he has to."

Sirius sits down opposite her, puts his head in his hands, and groans. "You're so naïve."

"And _you're _a cynic. You're blinded by what he represents to you."

She gets up, walks over to him, and sits down beside him. "Are your family really that bad?"

He nods. She takes his hand. "You can talk about them to me, if you want."

Sirius is silent for so long that Lou thinks he isn't going to speak. She wonders if he might have fallen asleep, but then he starts to talk, holding her hand tightly but not looking at her face.

"My parents," he says, voice shaking, "don't know what love is. Or, if they do, they never loved me. They hated me, and they made sure I knew it." He breaks off, blinking fiercely.

"They abused you?"

He looks up sharply, meeting her eyes and shaking his head. "No. If you fight back, it's not abuse, it's just…a fight."

"I don't think it's that simple."

"It was for me. I shouted back at them. And when they hurt me, I tried to hurt them, too. Fighting back made me an idiot - a rebel and a troublemaker - but if I hadn't fought back, I'd've been a victim, and that'd be infinitely worse."

Lou squeezes his hand, and he continues.

"Regulus was different. I don't think they love him, but they always preferred him. I think he saw me fighting back, challenging them, and he saw how they hated me, how I was…punished, and he didn't want that to happen to him, so he did everything they asked and didn't question them. We still got on alright, though, me and him. When it was just us, we were just brothers, we had some good times."

He clears his throat, and stares into the fireplace.

"Then I came here, and got Sorted into Gryffindor. I managed to stay here for Christmas and Easter, but I had to go home for the Summer. It was horrible. It was more…brutal. Then the next year, Regulus came here, and he was in Slytherin. And I think that's when he really realised the difference, and how wrong I'd gone. We've been drifting apart - _flying _apart, really - since then."

"You left home, didn't you?"

Sirius nods.

"The Summer after Fourth Year, I spent the whole holiday locked in my room. Have you ever met my cousin, Andromeda?"

Lou shakes her head.

"One of the only close relatives I have who's actually decent. She's a good few years older than us, and she was disowned, ages ago, for marrying a Muggle. They had a baby, and that Summer, Fourth Year, I heard my parents _joking _about hurting that little girl…about killing her. Saying it would serve Andromeda right. It made me feel sick, I was so disgusted, so angry, and I shouted at them and told them how awful they were, how much I hated them, and they shouted back, and hurt me…I got Dad with a decent Bat Bogey Hex, and then I got locked in my room. Food once a day if I was lucky, insults shouted at me every time anyone walked past the door."

Lou wants to touch him, hold him, make everything okay, but she lets him finish his story first.

"The next Summer, my parents insisted I went home. James said to stay as long as I could bear it, then go to his house. The day I got home, they tried to lock me up again. I wouldn't go, we argued, I fought them. They used the Cruciatus Curse on me. Both of them, more than once. They'd never gone that far before. I grabbed my stuff, got on my broom and flew to James' house. Passed out on his doorstep, and he and his parents looked after me. Then last Summer I found my flat, and here I am."

Lou feels like crying. "Oh, Sirius," she says, "I never knew."

"Regulus stood by and watched it happen," he says, voice shaky. "So when you talk about giving him a second chance…I understand the thought behind it, but all I can think of is how _I_ never got a second chance. How he never fought to get me out of a difficult situation."

She puts her hand to his face, pushing his hair behind his ear. He kisses her wrist softly.

"You shouldn't have had to go through that," she tells him. "Don't worry. I'll look after you."

And, for the first time in longer than he can remember, he lets the tears leak out of his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

Sirius could, he thinks, stare at Louisa Reece for the rest of his life. There would, of course, be some complications - he'd need someone to make sure he didn't walk into things, for a start, but James could probably do that, and it would be worth it. But staring isn't acceptable. Even staring at your girlfriend as she patiently listens to your best friend in the Common Room. Sirius doesn't know everything about girls, but he knows that about one thing they are very clear: staring is odd. It makes them uncomfortable. It makes you look obsessed (the problem is, he kind of _is, _but that's not the kind of thing that any self-respecting teenage boy admits to). So Sirius makes do with sitting opposite her with the _Daily Prophet _held up in front of him, pretending to read as he watches her. She glances up and smiles at him, and he smiles back as if he only just glanced up too, and with a (hopefully more charming than frightening) raised eyebrow, he 'returns' his gaze to his newspaper, before returning it to her face when a safe time has passed.

Looking at Lou is like looking at the world in a different colour scheme. Before, the person Sirius would spend most time looking at was himself, striking (more than half-, but not completely- ) ironic poses in the mirror as James hammered on the bathroom door. Sirius is perfectly aware of his own beauty, which he sees not only in the mirror but in every meeting, photograph and memory of many of his family members. The Black attractiveness is legendary, and Sirius is a fine example of it, all monochrome precision and careless grace - the straight line of his nose, the distinctive angle of his jaw, the whiteness of his skin and the way his shiny black hair and piercing grey eyes stand out so vividly against it. The slightly supercilious manner which reminds him of his mother and which he once tried to give up (but sadly returned to when James said that the air of humility he adopted in its place made him look like "a destitute old beggar-woman who just gave up her only shawl for the Queen to walk on"). He _knows _he's beautiful, but it means nothing - it's a tool he uses to impress when he needs to, but ultimately it's one of the few things his family has given to him that he can't run away from or discard. Ultimately, it's a reminder of roots he'd rather were buried.

Lou is different. Softer, warmer. Creamy skin and brown, slightly flyaway hair, impatiently tucked behind ears by ink-stained fingers with rounded nails. Sparkling dark eyes, and cheeks that become tinged with pink when she's cold, or warm, or even a little enthusiastic about something. Her face is expressive - eyebrows that arch and quirk at the slightest provocation, shapely pink lips which seem to be constantly moving, revealing pointy white teeth in a smile or a laugh or a word. She's looking thoughtful now, as James talks nervously about Lily's birthday, which is less than a fortnight away.

"- do you think flowers are a good idea?" he asks.

Lou pulls a face. "Well, _I _wouldn't like flowers," she says.

"What? Why?" James is desperate for an insight into the female mind.

"Flowers in the ground are pretty," says Lou. "Although they make me sneeze if I get too close. But if you give a girl flowers as a gift, what you're saying to her is, 'when I see something beautiful, my immediate urge is to rip it away from its life-source, place it on a shelf somewhere, and watch it slowly die'. Is that the impression you're hoping for?"

A grin breaks out across Sirius' face. He hides it behind his newspaper.

"Okay," says James, crossing out something on the scrap of parchment he's using to write ideas. "No flowers."

"I didn't say that," says Lou with a smile. "Lily would love it if you gave her flowers - not lilies, though, 'cause that'd be a bit naff."

"But you said -" James flails incoherently.

"I did. But I am not Lily. Girls are different to each other. Which is why asking me about what I'd like isn't going to be especially helpful to you."

A gurgle of laughter spills out of Sirius' mouth, earning him a disapproving look from a rather disappointed-looking James. Lou stands up.

"I'm going to the library," she says, with the kind of determination that starts in the voice and tries desperately to work its effects on the brain. She gathers her books, ruffles James' hair, swiftly kisses Sirius on the cheek and leaves the room.

That night, the Gryffindor 7th-year boys' dormitory has the air of a meeting-room about it. Well, that's not strictly true. It has the (slightly stale, with whiffs of toothpaste, deodorant, chocolate and explosives) air of a boys' dormitory about it. But James Potter has the air of a man about to propose a controversial scheme to a dubious board.

He clears his throat.

Peter continues to search his drawer for clean pyjamas. Remus continues to read his current bedtime book. Sirius continues attempting to juggle Gobstones. One of them starts to hiss and he drops it in surprise. He follows it to the floor and is surprised to find that he can't see it. He begins to search.

James clears his throat again.

"You'd better not be getting a cold," comes Sirius' voice from underneath his bed.

"I'm not."

"Take a potion or something to be sure. I don't want your germs."

The idea that clearing one's throat is an impressive way to begin a conversation, James reflects, is a common misconception that is undeniably false. He ploughs on admirably.

"Remus, I have a proposal to make to you."

_Thud._

"Ow!"

Sirius' head appears from underneath his bed, closely followed by a hand, which rubs his scalp. He looks across the room eagerly. All four boys know exactly what Sirius is thinking.

Remus smiles. "Get down on one knee and do it properly, or you don't stand a chance."

Laughter. Sirius picks up the Gobstone triumphantly, extricates himself from the gap beneath his bed and sits down to listen.

"Right, well," James clears his throat again, more out of nervousness than a desire to impress. "I want to ask you - and there's no pressure, it's completely up to you - if I could tell Lily about, you know…you."

Remus adopts a stillness that is more than just not moving.

James continues. "I mean, I know it's like, our secret, and I'd never tell anyone without your permission, it's just…I want to explain to her about Prongs, it feels like I'm hiding a massive part of myself if I don't. But it's hard to tell her that I'm an illegal Animagus without explaining _why _I became one - and the why is impossible to explain without mentioning you."

Remus takes several breaths. "But what if she didn't react…favourably?"

"Then she's not the person that I think she is, and I'll do a Memory Charm, and, well…probably break up with her."

Time stops. Nobody moves. James tries to explain. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I love her, but…friends come first, don't they? It was us four a long time before it was me and her. But I don't think she'd react badly. She's not the type."

Remus nods minutely. "Okay, then. Go on."

James breathes out like he's suddenly remembered how to, smiles, and claps Remus on the shoulder. "Thanks, Moony."

"No problem."

"Erm," says Sirius, half-unsure as to whether to continue, but eventually, when everyone in the room turns to look at him, deciding that he might as well. "Could I tell Lou, too?" He braces himself, thinking that it must be too much.

But Remus smiles. "Alright," he says.

Sirius glances at James, expecting him to protest at how easily Remus agrees this time (Sirius knows _he_ would, if the roles were reversed), but James is whistling softly as he arranges the area around his bed into its usual organised chaos, and doesn't seem to have noticed anything unusual.

The following day, Sirius is sitting with Lou beneath a tree by the lake. It's lunch-time, and they're eating sandwiches grabbed from the Great Hall. It's a cold, grey day, but they're sitting on a blanket, wearing coats and scarves and gloves. The wind whips their hair into sketchy halos. Lou's left leg rests against Sirius' right with a familiarity that makes something in the region of his chest ache.

"Can I tell you something?" he asks.

"Of course." Lou gazes across the lake, watching some of the younger students run around on the other side.

Sirius takes a deep breath. "I'm an Animagus," he says.

Lou smiles slightly, but doesn't respond. "I can turn into a dog…a big, black one."

Lou bites her sandwich.

"Peter, James and I became Animagi so that we could keep Remus company. When he transforms. Every month, into a werewolf."

Lou turns her head and looks at Sirius. "Did Remus say you could tell me this?"

"Yeah."

"That's alright then."

Pause.

"Erm, is that it?" asks Sirius, wrong-footed. "I mean, I just told you some reasonably big news."

"I already knew."

"_What?"_ This is just about the biggest breach of security that Sirius can imagine, and he wonders wildly if he is dreaming.

Lou squeezes his face with a smile. "Remus and I used to tutor each other in the subjects each of us hated. We spent a lot of time together. Regular meetings tend to bring it to your attention if the person you're meeting cancels every month like clockwork. I worked it out, told him I knew. He told me not to tell anyone, including you three. He seemed to be under the impression that the four of you were bound together by the secret, and you'd all hate him if you found out I knew."

Sirius remembers the previous evening. "Does James know you know?"

"Yeah. In fifth year, Remus thought you'd all gone off him because you were being all secretive and meeting up without him. Then when he found out you'd become Animagi he was so happy, and he told me. Then a week or so later I was teasing James and I kind of accidentally called him 'Bambi' - we'd been studying films in Muggle Studies - and he gathered from that that I knew."

It's a lot for Sirius to take in. "And you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't. He's still Remus, isn't he? And it's not his fault. And I think you three are really sweet, doing what you've done for him."

"You're incredible." Sirius kisses Lou's grinning lips.

"You're not so bad, yourself."

She stands up, grabs Sirius' hands and heaves him to his feet, too. They pick up the picnic blanket and fold it.

"What now?" asks Sirius, glancing at his watch and seeing that there's plenty of time until they have to go to their next class. "Fancy a stroll around the lake?"

Lou smiles. "Time for walkies, is it?"

Sirius laughs and holds out his hand. She grabs it, and they set off.

The boys' dormitory is ecstatic, that evening. "Lily doesn't care!" shouts James, for the umpteenth time in the past half-hour, leaping from his own bed, onto Peter's.

"And Lou already knew!" shrieks Sirius, stepping lightly from his own bed, onto a specially-cleared space on top of his chest of drawers.

Peter opens four bottles of Butterbeer, grinning, and swiftly distributes three of them. "Best possible outcome!" he says, drinking a large amount of his drink in one go.

With a bloodcurdling yelp, Sirius jumps from his chest of drawers to the space right in front of Remus, embracing his friend. Sirius' exclamations are drowned by Remus' cries for help and the others' laughter.

"What is the meaning of this?" comes a stern voice from the doorway, where Professor McGonagall stands, dressing-gowned and tired-looking. "I've had several complaints about the noise."

The four boys look at each other.

"Sorry, Professor," says Remus.

"We're just a bit excited," adds Peter.

James can't help himself. "We just remembered that we have Transfiguration tomorrow."

For once, Professor McGonagall is speechless. She looks like she's trying to decide whether to punish them or laugh at them.

Sirius grins. "Would you like a Butterbeer?"

"No, thank you, Mr. Black." Their Head of House straightens her dressing-gown. "Please remember that some people are trying to sleep, and keep the noise down in the future."

She gives an almost-imperceptible nod, and walks away, unable to resist smiling to herself as she hears the clinking of bottles and a choked "shut _up_!"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

NEWT-level Transfiguration is hard work. Very, very hard work. Students enter the classroom bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and raring to go, and by the time Professor McGonagall's finished with them, they slouch, they mutter, and their hair is - thanks to being run through with fingers in frustration - less than its best. On Tuesdays, thankfully, Transfiguration occurs at the end of the day, so the students can return to their Houses, prostrate themselves on furniture, and groan.

One such Tuesday, early in February, just a few days after Lily Evans' birthday (she very much liked her flowers, by the way), the class has just ended, and students are, sighing, walking out of the room, and Professor McGonagall gestures to Lou.

"Miss Reece, may I have a word?"

Nodding, Lou extracts herself from the rest of the group, and stands in front of her teacher's desk, waiting for the other students to leave. McGonagall offers her a chair, which she takes.

"Miss Reece, it has come to my attention that you have been in correspondence with Healer Fenwick, at St. Mungo's, is that correct?"

"Yes, Professor."

"And you spent some time last Summer in his company as he performed his job?"

"Yes, Professor. You see, I want to be a Healer, and I thought the best thing I could do was get in touch with St. Mungo's. Benjy - that is, Healer Fenwick - used to know my mum, they had some mutual friends at the Ministry, so I contacted him and he said he might be able to get me a place on the Healer Training Programme, if I was promising enough. He hasn't said anything about it yet, though, so I'm probably not -"

McGonagall holds up her hand, and Lou trails off.

"Something you may not know," she says, "is that I am also in regular contact with Benjy Fenwick. He was one of the first students I ever taught, and has since then become a good friend. And this morning I received a letter from him, asking me to let you know that he's very impressed with your attitude and knowledge - not to mention an excellent reference from your Head of House - and as such, not only have you been offered a place on the Training Programme, but Healer Fenwick himself has offered to be your tutor."

Lou is stunned. "Wow," she says.

McGonagall allows a rare smile. "_Wow _indeed, Miss Reece. This is a great honour, and a fitting testament to your achievements. I will contact Healer Fenwick on your behalf, to let him know that you accept the place, and then he will write to you quite soon. Is that okay?"

Lou blinks, and stands up. "Yes, Professor. And, thanks."

She wanders out of the classroom in a daze. She starts to walk towards Gryffindor Tower, when she hears "Miss Reece! Miss Reece!" coming from behind her. She turns around, and sees Professor Dumbledore walking towards her at great speed.

"Yes, sir?"

"Miss Reece, do you by any chance know where Miss Evans is?"

"I'm pretty sure she's in our Common Room, Professor. Would you like me to get her for you?"

Dumbledore nods. "Please. Tell her I'll be waiting for her -" he casts his gaze around, assessing where he is - "in Professor McGonagall's classroom."

"Okay, Professor." Lou starts to walk away.

"Oh, and Miss Reece?" the Headmaster adds. "I give you permission to run."

Lou obeys, taking off at speed. When she gets back to Gryffindor Tower, she makes a grand entrance, closing the portrait hole behind her with a flourish. She sees Lily and Sirius, in their group's usual position by the fireplace, and walks over to them. "Lily," she says. "Dumbledore wants you, it seemed pretty urgent."

Lily stands up. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"No, just told me to run and get you. He's waiting for you in McGonagall's classroom."

Lily frowns, and runs out of the Common Room. Lou perches on the arm of Sirius' chair, draping her legs over his. He smiles, kisses her softly, and asks, "What did McGonagall want with you, anyway?"

"To deliver some good news. I've got a place on the Healer Training Programme at St. Mungo's!"

Sirius lets out a whoop, kisses her again and declares, "That's brilliant! At least one person I know knows what they're doing with their life when they leave here."

"Hardly," frowns Lou. "I have to find somewhere to live, for a start - I can hardly go back to my dad's house, and -"

"Live with me."

"_What?"_

"It makes sense. I've got a flat in London, you've got a course in London, I'm lonely by myself, you need somewhere to live. It's perfect."

Lou is uncertain. "Merlin, Sirius, I -"

"- it's okay if you don't want to -"

"- it's not that, it's just a big decision -"

"What's a big decision?" comes the cheerful voice of James, who's crept up behind them. "And where's Lily?"

"She's with Dumbledore," says Lou, carefully avoiding the former question. "Guess what, though? I'm going to be a Healer! I got a place on the course!"

James squeals. "Oh, _brilliant. _I always knew you would!"

The three of them are dancing around the Common Room, laughing and shrieking, when Lily re-enters the room, ashen-faced.

"Lily? Lils, are you alright?" asks James, concerned.

Lily begins to sway, and Lou runs forward, catching her friend as she falls. "What is it?" she asks.

Lily looks up slowly. "My…my parents. They've had an accident, I have to go home. James, Dumbledore says you can come with me, if you want."

"Of course I do," replies James.

Lou guides Lily to a sofa, sitting her down gently. "Alright, Lily, just sit there, it's okay. I'll go to the dormitory and pack some stuff for you, okay? I'll leave you with Sirius."

Lou and James run off to their respective dormitories, and Sirius sits down next to Lily, awkwardly. He puts his arm around her shoulders, and she leans against him, crying quietly.

A couple of hours later, and Lily and James are gone. Sirius, Lou and their friends are sitting in the Common Room, quiet and shocked.

Lou looks up. "Remus, where's your owl?"

"In the dorm," he replies. "I was going to write to my parents but I haven't got round to it. I'll have to send him to the Owlery next time I'm up there."

"Can I borrow him?"

"Of course."

Lou grabs a piece of parchment, scrawls a note upon it, and runs up to the boys' dormitory to send it. The note reads:

_Dear Lily and James,_

_I know it'll be difficult for you to find an owl where you are, so I'm sending this so you'll be able to get in touch with us if you want to (it's Remus' owl, he doesn't mind)._

_We're all thinking of you. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help._

_Lou_

_xxx_

Then she returns to the Common Room. They all sit around, hardly speaking. It's difficult to know what to say. It's a long time before the owl returns - it's dark, and the Common Room is nearly empty - with a note from James.

_Lou,_

_Thanks for sending the owl, I was worrying about how to get in touch. Things are awful here. There's a car crash and - there's no kind way to say this - Lily's parents died. Obviously she's devastated. Dumbledore's given us permission to spend two weeks here, sorting out the funeral and dealing with her family and everything. _

_It means I'll miss the next Quidditch match, though. Could you try to sort it out? I know I've been training Anna to be the Captain, but whilst the team's my responsibility, I wouldn't trust anyone other than you in charge of it. It doesn't matter if you lose, just get a team out there and do your best._

_Thanks for your support_

_James_

_xxx_

Whilst the rest of her friends are reading the letter, Lou scribbles a reply.

_James,_

_Merlin, I don't know what to say. That's terrible news._

_Don't you dare even think about Quidditch until you get back. I'll handle it._

_Look after Lily - and yourself, too._

_Lou_

_xxx_

There follows some brief conversation, but very quickly Mary, Remus and Peter are all wandering up to their dormitories, to think about this terrible turn of events alone.

Sirius sits down next to Lou. She doesn't look at him.

"Are you okay?" he whispers.

She nods, wiping angrily at her eyes.

"It's okay to be sad," he says. "You knew them quite well, didn't you?"

"Yes, I knew them. But I can't be sad. This is not my loss to grieve."

"I don't believe that."

She relaxes into him, rests her forehead on his shoulder. "They were great to me."

"I know."

"And obviously the worst thing about them dying is how hard it'll be for Lily, I _know_ that. But partly I'm sad for my sake, too. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Of course not."

They cling to each other.

"The best thing we can do for Lily," says Sirius, "is just be there for her. There's nothing else we can do."

Lou nods, understanding. "I will live with you, by the way."

"What? I thought you needed time to decide?"

Lou shrugs. "I thought I did, too. But if you want me to live with you in your flat, and make you eat semi-sensibly, and nag you about…I don't know, socks…then yes. I say yes."

He kisses her gently on the lips, and they sit together for some time, just holding each other.


End file.
